Narratives About Specific Romantic Conflicts: Gender and Associations With Conflict Beliefs and Strategies

Abstract

Using a sample of 145 predominantly heterosexual emerging adults, the authors examined constructive and destructive interpretations of romantic conflict via narratives and studied how gender affected conflict interpretations and relationship functioning. Destructive interpretations were related to negative conflict beliefs for women and dating aggression for men. Across gender, constructive interpretations were related to more problem solving but were more strongly related to less aggression for men. Understanding conflict interpretations through narratives may enhance relationships skills training for emerging adults.

Romantic Conflict Narratives in Emerging Adult Couples: Viewpoint and Gender Matter

“…A tendency to use negative interpretations was more characteristic of female than male couple members. This finding is consistent with our previous work using narratives from only one member of a couple (Feiring et al., ). It may be that women have higher standards for fulfillment of core close relationship expectations such as loyalty and emotional support, and therefore they tend to be more negatively reactive in their interpretations of such violated expectations (Rose et al., ; Whitton & Kuryluk, ).…”

“…Contrary to expectation, there were no viewpoint or gender differences for perspective taking, which may be due to the low occurrence of this variable in the narratives. Although emerging adults are believed to be skilled at perspective taking (Connolly & Goldberg, 1999), it might be more difficult to do so when recounting past romantic conflict events with current partners; and we have found this to be the case in previous work (Feiring et al, 2018). Romantic conflict narratives, especially those with greater negative intensity, might make narrators feel threatened and more aware of their own and their partners' flaws.…”

“…The coding system for denigration and break‐up anxiety was based on a narrative oriented inquiry approach (Hiles & Cermak, ) and was developed on 80 narratives other than the ones used in this study (Feiring, Jashar, & Heleniak, ; Feiring et al., ). Denigration was defined as the use of intense negative emotion, thoughts, or behavior that would be considered conflict promoting.…”

“…Commitment and marriage are not characteristic of emerging adulthood but experiences with intimacy during this time are important for future long‐term partnerships and individual health (Collibee & Furman, ; Davila, Mattanah, et al., ). For these young couples, interpretations of specific conflict experiences are salient for emergent cognitive beliefs about the role of conflict for improving or harming relationships and conflict management strategies (Davila, Wodarczyk, & Bhatia, ; Feiring, Simon, & Markus, ). Healthy romantic relationships entail understanding the self's and the other's needs when interpreting conflict events (Davila, Mattanah, et al., ; Feiring, Milaniak, Simon, & Clisura, ; Feiring et al., ).…”

“…For these young couples, interpretations of specific conflict experiences are salient for emergent cognitive beliefs about the role of conflict for improving or harming relationships and conflict management strategies (Davila, Wodarczyk, & Bhatia, ; Feiring, Simon, & Markus, ). Healthy romantic relationships entail understanding the self's and the other's needs when interpreting conflict events (Davila, Mattanah, et al., ; Feiring, Milaniak, Simon, & Clisura, ; Feiring et al., ). Although unmet needs are a common source of conflict episodes and relationship stress (Le & Agnew, ), how young couples think through and feel about specific conflicts and their capacity to reflect on their own and their partners’ unmet needs is understudied.…”