You Can’t See the Real Me: Attachment Avoidance, Self-Verification, and Self-Concept Clarity

Abstract

Attachment shapes people's experiences in their close relationships and their self-views. Although attachment avoidance and anxiety both undermine relationships, past research has primarily emphasized detrimental effects of anxiety on the self-concept. However, as partners can help people maintain stable self-views, avoidant individuals' negative views of others might place them at risk for self-concept confusion. We hypothesized that avoidance would predict lower self-concept clarity and that less self-verification from partners would mediate this association. Attachment avoidance was associated with lower self-concept clarity (Studies 1-5), an effect that was mediated by low self-verification (Studies 2-3). The association between avoidance and self-verification was mediated by less self-disclosure and less trust in partner feedback (Study 4). Longitudinally, avoidance predicted changes in self-verification, which in turn predicted changes in self-concept clarity (Study 5). Thus, avoidant individuals' reluctance to trust or become too close to others may result in hidden costs to the self-concept.

Daily Responsiveness, Expectations, and Self–disclosure: How the Average Levels and Within–person Variability of Three Relationship Components Mediate Personality–Relationship Transactions in Romantic Couples

“…Both of these results align with previous findings (Shallcross et al, 2011), showing that insecure attachment may manifest in lower perceived responsiveness in the daily couple life. For avoidant attachment, we additionally found that a higher level of avoidant attachment was linked to a lower average level of self‐disclosure, which is also in line with previous research (Bradford et al, 2002; Emery et al, 2018): Considering that self‐disclosure relates to intimacy (Laurenceau, Barrett, & Pietromonaco, 1998) and that people high in avoidant attachment tend to feel uncomfortable with intimacy (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007), it is unsurprising that self‐disclosure reflects an uncomfortable undertaking for people high in avoidant attachment (Keelan et al, 1998).…”

“…As for cognitive relationship components, individuals with avoidant attachment suppress unwanted distress‐related thoughts to preserve their independence and to avoid contemplating abandonment (Shallcross et al, 2011). Regarding behavioural relationship components, individuals with avoidant attachment prefer independence to dependence and are reluctant to seek emotional intimacy, because they find such intimacy uncomfortable (Collins & Read, 1990; Hazan & Shaver, 1987; Simpson & Rholes, 2012); they are less likely to self‐disclose to and trust their partner (Emery, Gardner, Carswell, & Finkel, 2018); and when they self‐disclose to their partner, they feel uncomfortable (e.g. Bradford, Feeney, & Campbell, 2002; Keelan et al, 1998).…”

Daily Responsiveness, Expectations, and Self-Disclosure: How the Average Levels and Within-Person Variability of Three Relationship Components Mediate Personality–Relationship Transactions in Romantic Couples

“…Both of these results align with previous findings (Shallcross et al, 2011), showing that insecure attachment may manifest in lower perceived responsiveness in the daily couple life. For avoidant attachment, we additionally found that a higher level of avoidant attachment was linked to a lower average level of self-disclosure, which is also in line with previous research (Bradford et al, 2002;Emery et al, 2018): Considering that self-disclosure relates to intimacy (Laurenceau, Barrett, & Pietromonaco, 1998) and that people high in avoidant attachment tend to feel uncomfortable with intimacy (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007), it is unsurprising that self-disclosure reflects an uncomfortable undertaking for people high in avoidant attachment (Keelan et al, 1998).…”

“…As for cognitive relationship components, individuals with avoidant attachment suppress unwanted distress-related thoughts to preserve their independence and to avoid contemplating abandonment (Shallcross et al, 2011). Regarding behavioural relationship components, individuals with avoidant attachment prefer independence to dependence and are reluctant to seek emotional intimacy, because they find such intimacy uncomfortable (Collins & Read, 1990;Hazan & Shaver, 1987;Simpson & Rholes, 2012); they are less likely to self-disclose to and trust their partner (Emery, Gardner, Carswell, & Finkel, 2018); and when they self-disclose to their partner, they feel uncomfortable (e.g. Bradford, Feeney, & Campbell, 2002;Keelan et al, 1998).…”

Failure to Share Reality and its Consequences for Self-Concept Clarity

“…In addition to exploring novel contexts and consequences of motives to share reality, the present research also contributes to our understanding of how the self is impacted by interpersonal relationships. Previous research has demonstrated that dyadic relationships can impact the content of the self-concept (Aron, Aron, Tudor, & Nelson, 1991), evaluations of the self (Baldwin, Carrell, & Lopez, 1990), and selfconcept clarity (Emery et al, 2018;Luchies, Finkel, McNulty, & Kumashiro, 2010;Slotter, Gardner, & Finkel, 2010). However, relatively little research has explored how social networks influence the self-concept (cf.…”