The Single’s Struggle: Discovering Involuntary Singleness in Indonesia Through Gender and Religious Perspectives

Abstract

Singleness emerges as a theme in studies on contemporary relationships across societies, including in Indonesia. While in most Western societies, singleness reflects an individual’s personal preference, marriage is viewed as cultural imperative in Indonesia, and being single is often held involuntarily by most never-married adults. This study outlines the reasons of why Indonesian individuals remain involuntarily single. The interviews of 40 never-married adults aged 27–52 years ( M age = 33.14; SD = 4.04) revealed that gender and religious differences regarding marriage expectation are central themes in understanding involuntary singleness. The study particularly revealed four gender-specific reasons for why individuals remained involuntarily single: obtaining a career, having an incompatible marriage expectation, having dependent family members, and having temporal perspectives of singleness. Two themes emerged regarding the religious perspective of singleness: religious interpretations about singleness and religion-related coping ways of being involuntarily single. The themes suggest that marriage is not a mere personal fulfillment as cultural and religious values determine individuals’ marriage feasibility. While offering a new perspective of involuntary singleness from non-Western perspective, the results inform strategies to cope with unwanted singleness, particularly in the marriage- and religion-preoccupied societies.

Menikah adalah Ibadah: Peran Agama dalam Mengkonstruksi Pengalaman Melajang di Indonesia

“…Prinsip kesetaraan gender dalam pendidikan dan industri terlihat dari meningkatnya partisipasi perempuan dalam menempuh pendidikan tinggi (Setyonaluri, Maghfirah, and Aryaputra, 2020), yang akhirnya membuka peluang bagi mereka untuk membangun karier dan berperan di luar peran tradisionalnya sebagai ibu rumah tangga (Utomo 2014). Di sisi lain, sebagian besar masyarakat Indonesia masih memandang penting bentuk pernikahan hipergami, di mana pernikahan dianggap ideal ketika status ekonomi dan sosial suami lebih tinggi daripada status istri (Himawan 2020a). Dengan semakin besarnya proporsi perempuan yang berkecimpung di bidang pendidikan dan oleh perubahan sosial yang cepat dan masif.…”

“…Sikap positif terhadap pernikahan bagi masyarakat Indonesia, di samping merefleksikan profil budaya kolektif di mana apresiasi terhadap individu lebih dilihat dalam konteks relasi dan kekerabatannya (Hofstede Insights 2018), juga menggambarkan bagaimana nilai-nilai agama terabsorbsi dalam membentuk sistem nilai kemasyarakatan. Studi menunjukkan bahwa agama dan gender memberi warna tersendiri bagi pengalaman melajang di Indonesia, di mana perempuan yang belum menikah cenderung mengalami masa lajang yang kurang menyenangkan (Himawan 2020a). Dalam studi ini, pengalaman melajang difokuskan pada bagaimana lajang memaknai status lajangnya serta mengupayakan kualitas hidupnya.…”

The sociocultural barriers of work‐from‐home arrangement due to COVID‐19 pandemic in Asia: Implications and future implementation

“…From the employee's side, the excessive responsibility at home associated with the cultural responsibility to take care of elderly family members may act as a barrier towards WFH implementation in Asia. The custom of filial duty tends to be generally upheld by people in Asia, and is observed at least in Thailand (Debavalya, 2008 ), China (Lei et al, 2015 ), Japan (Yoshida, 2011 ), and Indonesia (Himawan, 2020 ). Unlike in many Western countries where elderly have access to public services, in most Asian societies, family remains the main support system and children are culturally responsible to take care of their elder family members.…”

Gambaran kesejahteraan subjektif pada perempuan dewasa yang merawat orang tua dengan demensia

“…Selain itu, peran merawat dan mengurus orang tua lebih ditekankan pada anak perempuan (Keasberry, 2001). Ekspektasi budaya yang kuat bagi perempuan untuk mengurus orang tuanya yang berusia lansia dapat berdampak terhadap terhambatnya ambisi beberapa perempuan untuk berkeluarga (Himawan, 2020). Peran merawat dan mengurus orang tua dipandang sebagai takdir bagi anak perempuan yang sudah sepatutnya diterima tanpa keraguan dan tidak dipertanyakan (Tumanggor, 2020).…”