"The part of me that you bring out": Ideal similarity and the Michelangelo phenomenon.

Abstract

This work examines the Michelangelo phenomenon, an interpersonal model of the means by which people move closer to (vs. further from) their ideal selves. The authors propose that partner similaritysimilarity to the ideal self, in particular-plays an important role in this process. Across 4 studies employing diverse designs and measurement techniques, they observed consistent evidence that when partners possess key elements of one another's ideal selves, each person affirms the other by eliciting important aspects of the other's ideals, each person moves closer to his or her ideal self, and couple well-being is enhanced. Partner similarity to the actual self also accounts for unique variance in key elements of this model. The associations of ideal similarity and actual similarity with couple well-being are fully attributable to the Michelangelo process, to partner affirmation and target movement toward the ideal self. The authors also performed auxiliary analyses to rule out several alternative interpretations of these findings.

The Michelangelo Phenomenon

“…First, we have examined individual differences in goal pursuit traits, demonstrating that target and partner traits exert both direct and indirect effects on each person's behavior: As a product of both persons' traits, some targets are easier than others to sculpt, and some partners exhibit more effective sculpting than others (e.g., Kumashiro et al, 2007). Second, we have examined how ideal similarity shapes the Michelangelo process, demonstrating that when partners actually possess key elements of the target's ideal self, partners are more affirming and targets exhibit greater movement toward their ideals (Rusbult, Kumashiro, Kubacka, & Finkel, 2009). And third, we have examined how partner affirmation influences relationships, demonstrating that affirmation promotes perceived responsiveness, or target belief that the partner understands the target, approves of the target, and genuinely cares about the target's well-being.…”

The benefits of interpersonal regulatory fit for individual goal pursuit.

“…Prior work has examined the impact of significant other representations on individual goal pursuit (Fitzsimons & Bargh, 2003;Shah, 2003), the role that close partners may play in promoting versus inhibiting each person's pursuit of the ideal self (Drigotas, Rusbult, Wieselquist, & Whitton, 1999;Rusbult, Kumashiro, Kubacka, & Finkel, 2009), and the positive impact of promotion goal support for dating partners and of both promotion and prevention goal support for marital partners on couple well-being (Molden, Lucas, Finkel, Kumashiro, & Rusbult, 2009). In addition, prior work has examined the impact of victim-perpetrator regulatory fit on the forgiveness process, revealing that whereas a perpetrator's promotion-framed repentance enhances promotion-oriented victims' forgiveness, fit between prevention-framed repentance and victim prevention orientation less reliably enhances forgiveness (Santelli, Struthers, & Eaton, 2009).…”

Strategic Self-Presentation of Women in STEM

“…Authenticity. Self-presentational authenticity was assessed using a 10-item scale ("It felt hard to give the other participants an accurate sense of who I am in my introduction"; "I felt like I could really be myself in my introduction"; α = 0.86, M = 4.35, SD = 0.93; novel items and adaptation of (Rusbult et al 2009;Duffy 2014).…”