The bright side of secrecy: The energizing effect of positive secrets.

Abstract

Existing wisdom holds that secrecy is burdensome and fatiguing. However, past research has conflated secrecy with the kinds of adverse events that are often kept secret. As a result, it is unclear whether secrecy is inherently depleting, or whether these consequences vary based on the underlying meaning of the secret. We resolve this confound by examining the consequences of positive secrets. In contrast to the prior research, five experiments (N = 2,800) find that positive secrets increase feelings of energy, relative to (a) content-matched positive non-secrets, (b) other pieces of unknown positive information, and (c) other kinds of secrets. Importantly, these energizing effects of positive secrets were independent of positive affect. We further found that positive secrets are energizing because, compared to other kinds of secrets, people keep them for more intrinsically than extrinsically motivated reasons. That is, these secrets are more freely chosen, more consistent with personal values, and more motivated by internal desires (than by external pressures). Using both measures and manipulations of these motivations, we found that a motivational mechanism helps explain the energizing effect of positive secrets. The present results offer new insights into secrecy, how people respond to positive life events, and the subjective experiences of vitality and energy.

Regulating emotions about secrets.

“…Secret negativity was also associated with greater use of suppression and distraction, as well as less use of acceptance. While future research would do well to investigate the relatively unexplored areas of trivial and positive secrets (Slepian, Greenaway, & Masicampo, 2020; Slepian et al, 2023), our studies link the selection of short-term emotion regulation strategies to certain type of secrets, namely the important and negative ones.…”

“…For example, research has found that people feel anxious keeping secrets, and report being fearful of secrets being discovered by others (Davis et al, 2021). It is also possible that secrets may be associated with positive emotions: either in their absence, or—in the rare case of positive secrets—presence of emotions like pride, excitement, or gratitude (Bianchi et al, 2024; Slepian et al, 2023).…”

Keeping and sharing secrets at the interpersonal level

“…Compared to negative secrets, positive secrets (e.g., surprises, gifts, marriage proposals) are rare and also distinct in that they are meant to be revealed within a specific time frame, expected to have positive outcomes when revealed, and are experienced as energizing rather than burdensome (Slepian, 2022;Slepian et al, 2023;Slepian & Koch, 2021).…”

“…In line with most past research and models of secrecy, we also limit our discussion to secrets that are negative in content or expected to have negative consequences upon revealing. Compared to negative secrets, positive secrets (e.g., surprises, gifts, marriage proposals) are rare and also distinct in that they are meant to be revealed within a specific time frame, expected to have positive outcomes when revealed, and are experienced as energizing rather than burdensome (Slepian, 2022; Slepian et al., 2023; Slepian & Koch, 2021).…”

Unlocking the secrets of secrets: How can we learn about experiences that cannot be recreated in the laboratory?

“…Importantly, the recall experiment can be implemented at the secret-level by using the same set of exemplars across multiple conditions. For example, a recent study on positive secrets identified a comprehensive list of good news that people recently encountered (Slepian et al, 2023). Participants were exposed to the list of exemplars and selected which they currently held that were secret, and which they currently held that were non-secret.…”