Regulating emotions about secrets.

Abstract

Secrecy is common and psychologically costly. Research shows that secrets have high emotional stakes, but no research has directly tested how people regulate their emotions about secrets. To fill this gap, we conducted an experimental study (Study 1), then moved to studying secrecy "in the wild" to capture regulatory processes as they unfold in everyday life (Studies 2 and 3). In Study 1 (N = 498), people reported using different strategies to regulate emotions about secrets compared to matched nonsecrets. In two daily diary studies (N Study 2 = 174, 1,059 surveys; N Study 3 = 240, 2,764 surveys), participants reported engaging in acceptance, distraction, and expressive suppression most-and social sharing least-to manage emotions about secrets. Moreover, in testing which kinds of secrets required most regulation, Study 3 suggested that significant, negative, controllable, and socially harmful secrets were associated with greater use of rumination, distraction, and suppression; perceived immorality of keeping secrets was associated with greater use of reappraisal; and secret discoverability did not differentially predict regulation strategies. Our findings indicate that when regulating emotions about their secrets, people appear to prioritize their intention to keep secret information hidden, despite potential well-being costs that may come with enacting this intention. Understanding the regulatory processes involved in secrecy is a foundation on which future research can build to identify ways of alleviating the burden of secrecy.