The Autonomous-Relational Self

Abstract

Autonomy is often construed as separateness from others and is seen to result from a separation-individuation process. However, it is neither logically nor psychologically necessary for autonomy to imply separateness if the existence of the two different dimensions of agency and interpersonal distance are recognized. The two poles of the agency dimension are autonomy and heteronomy; those of the interpersonal distance dimension are separateness and relatedness. The two dimensions are confused when agency is pitted against relatedness. Different family interaction models are examined here in terms of childrearing patterns and the resultant types of (developing) selves. One of these, the autonomous-relational self, is suggested in this article to be a healthy synthesis of the two basic human needs for agency and relatedness. It tends to develop in the family model of emotional interdependence involving authoritative parenting. This family model and self constellation, which are supported by research evidence, involve a different set of theories than are traditionally found in psychology. This conceptualization synthesizes some apparently conflicting patterns of interpersonal relations and the self. It may serve as a corrective to the pervasive emphasis in psychology on individual autonomy at the cost of human relatedness.

Development of emotional autonomy from adolescence to young adulthood in Spain

“…Some authors have pondered the question of whether autonomy is being overestimated as something to achieve during adolescence, in detriment of another basic necessity: closeness and relationships with others (Guisinger & Blatt, 1994;Kagitcibasi, 1996;Ryan, Deci, & Grolnick, 1995). During adolescence and adulthood, both aspects are of vital importance; harmonious development cannot be understood if they are not both taken into consideration.…”

Metas de socialização e estratégias de ação paternas e maternas

“…O primeiro tipo de crenças refere-se a uma orientação frente ao desenvolvimento de um eu autônomo (aproximando-se a características individualistas), enquanto o segundo tipo refere-se ao desenvolvimento de um eu interdependente (aproximando-se a características sociocêntricas). Finalmente, o terceiro tipo de crenças refere-se ao desenvolvimento de um eu autônomo-relacional, que representaria uma mescla dos dois anteriores e foi descrito por Kagitcibasi (1996) como uma orientação, a longo prazo, envolvendo uma valorização da autonomia e da auto-realização e, ao mesmo tempo, dando ênfase a manutenção de relações íntimas entre a família e o grupo social. Este último tipo de orientação foi identificado em mães da Costa Rica e México sugerindo uma tendência homogênea para os países latinos quanto às metas de socialização do tipo autônomo-relacional (Keller e cols., 2006).…”

A Longitudinal Research on the Development of Emotional Autonomy During Adolescence

“…According to these articles, it is reasonable to think that emotional disengagement from parents does not have the same meaning in societies such as that of the United States, where independence and autonomy are highly valued aspects, as it has in other societies such as Mediterranean ones in which families play a much more central role, and in which keeping close bonds with mothers and fathers is something considered to be basic. Maybe, as Kagitcibasi (1996) has pointed out, to consider that autonomy is a result of a process of individuation or of emotional separation from one's family might only make sense in very individualistic cultures. In more collective cultures, like ours, keeping close emotional bonds with mothers and fathers is probably a requisite for healthy development.…”

“…For some years now various researchers have been wondering about the role played by socio-cultural variables in emotional autonomy, and more specifically about their impact on the well being of boys and girls (Cooper, 1994;Feldman and Rosenthal, 1991;Kagitcibasi, 1996). According to these articles, it is reasonable to think that emotional disengagement from parents does not have the same meaning in societies such as that of the United States, where independence and autonomy are highly valued aspects, as it has in other societies such as Mediterranean ones in which families play a much more central role, and in which keeping close bonds with mothers and fathers is something considered to be basic.…”