Autonomy and agency are used extensively and often interchangeably; there is a debate regarding their intersections with relatedness and separateness. This scholarship occurs within mainly a Euro-American cultural context that provides an ideological background of individualism, shedding light on psychological thinking. The article attempts to provide a broad overview of the issues involved. Two distinct dimensions, agency and interpersonal distance, are seen to underlie the self constructs involving autonomy and relatedness that are developed in different spheres of psychological inquiry. Autonomy and relatedness are viewed as basic human needs, and though apparently conflicting, are proposed to be compatible. Problems of conceptualization and operationalization are noted that have prevented the recognition of this compatibility. A model is put forward that involves a fourfold combination of the two dimensions, leading to different types of self and the societal and familial contexts in which they develop. Recent research provides credibility to the model proposed.

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Autonomy is often construed as separateness from others and is seen to result from a separation-individuation process. However, it is neither logically nor psychologically necessary for autonomy to imply separateness if the existence of the two different dimensions of agency and interpersonal distance are recognized. The two poles of the agency dimension are autonomy and heteronomy; those of the interpersonal distance dimension are separateness and relatedness. The two dimensions are confused when agency is pitted against relatedness. Different family interaction models are examined here in terms of childrearing patterns and the resultant types of (developing) selves. One of these, the autonomous-relational self, is suggested in this article to be a healthy synthesis of the two basic human needs for agency and relatedness. It tends to develop in the family model of emotional interdependence involving authoritative parenting. This family model and self constellation, which are supported by research evidence, involve a different set of theories than are traditionally found in psychology. This conceptualization synthesizes some apparently conflicting patterns of interpersonal relations and the self. It may serve as a corrective to the pervasive emphasis in psychology on individual autonomy at the cost of human relatedness.

L'étude turque sur la valeur conférée aux enfants a porté sur trois générations relevant de trois niveaux socio-économiques dans centre métropolitain et deux zones rurales. Les résultats ont montré qu'il y avait sur les trois derrières décennies un net accroissement des valeurs psychologiques attribuées aux enfants et une chute correspondante des valeurs utilitaires et économiques. La préférence pour le fils a été remplacée par la préférence pour la fille, ce qui traduit un changement de la dynamique et des rôles familiaux. Des modifications analogues dans ce qui est attendu des enfants, les qualités que l'on souhaite trouver chez cux et les nombres réels, désirés et idéaux d'enfants sont cohérents avec les attentes; le modèle du changement familial proposé par Kagitcibasi est ainsi confirmé. Les comparaisons des valeurs attribuées aux enfants sur les trois décennies par génération et niveau social aide à comprendre l'évolution et le changement social de la société turque, voire de sociétés comparables.The Turkish Value of Children Study consisted of three generations from three socioeconomic strata in a metropolitan center and from two rural areas. The findings showed a sharp increase in the psychological, and a corresponding decrease in the utilitarian /economic values attributed to children over the last three decades. Son preference has been replaced by daughter preference, pointing to changing family dynamics and family roles. Corresponding modifications in expectations from (adult) children, qualities desired in children, and actual, desired, and ideal numbers of children are in line with expectations, providing support for Kagitcibasi's Model of Family Change. Comparisons of values attributed to children over three decades and across generations and social strata provide insights for understanding social change and development in Turkish society and possibly in similar societies.