Self‐esteem and problem‐solving behaviour in close relationships

Abstract

Three studies examined the relationship between self‐esteem and responses to periodic decline in close relationships. A four‐category typology of responses to dissatisfaction was utilized: exit — actively destroying the relationship; voice — actively and constructively attempting to improve conditions; loyalty — passively but optimistically waiting for conditions to improve; and neglect — passively allowing the relationship to deteriorate. It was hypothesized that individuals with stronger self‐esteem would attempt to solve problems in a more active fashion — with exit and voice — whereas those with weaker self‐esteem would react to problems in their relationships in a more passive manner — with loyalty and neglect. The relationship between self‐esteem and generalized problem‐solving styles was explored among university students in study 1, and among adults residing in the local community in study 2. Study 3 explored the relationship between self‐esteem and actual problem‐solving behaviour in the relationships of lesbians, gay males and heterosexual women and men. Consistent with predictions, a meta‐analysis of the results of the three studies revealed that individuals with stronger self‐esteem were more likely to engage in active exit behaviours and were less likely to react with passive neglect. However, self‐esteem was only weakly promotive of loyalty and was unrelated to voice behaviours. Thus, self‐esteem is an effective predictor of negative problem‐solving behaviours in close relationships.

Voice versus loyalty: Self-construals and responses to dissatisfaction in romantic relationships

“…Nor was it the case that those with an interdependent self-construal were more likely to report the passive, destructive, response of neglect (ignoring the relationship, passively allowing it to deteriorate). It is well-established that people in intact, satisfying romantic relationships are most likely to report the constructive responses to conflict (i.e., voice and loyalty; see e.g., Rusbult et al, 1986aRusbult et al, , 1986bRusbult et al, , 1982Rusbult, Morrow, & Johnson, 1987). Thus, our self-construal differences were most evident for the kinds of responses that our participants say they are most likely to use.…”

Comparing Heterosexuals’ and Gay Men/Lesbians’ Responses to Relationship Problems and the Effects of Internalized Homophobia on Gay Men/Lesbians’ Responses to Relationship Problems in Turkey

“…Many studies have investigated the relationship among responses to relationship dissatisfaction and various variables such as gender role orientation (Rusbult, Zembrodt, & Iwaniszek, 1986) partner's perspective taking (Arriaga & Rusbult, 1998;Rusbult et al, 1991), empathic accuracy (Kilpatrick, Bissonnette, & Rusbult, 2002), trust to partner (Wieselquist et al, 1999), self-esteem (Kumashiro, Finkel, & Rusbult, 2002;Rusbult, Morrow, & Johnson, 1987), self-control (Finkel & Campbell, 2001), and attachment styles (Gaines & Henderson, 2002;Gaines et al, 1997 M a n u s c r i p t RESPONSES TO RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS 5 et al, 2003;Tucker & Anders, 1999) have demonstrated that partners' perception of reactions to relational problems effect relationship satisfactions and relationship quality. Similarly, some studies conducted in Turkish culture (e.g., Taluy, 2013) have revealed that perceptions of couples about their partners' reactions to relational problems effect relationship satisfaction.…”

Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles?

“…Possibly the reason for this is that high self-esteem leads to relationship problems, too. Rusbult, Morrow, and Johnson (1987) examined four types of responses to problems within close relationships, and found that self-esteem produced the largest difference in the active-destructive ("exit") category of responses. People with high self-esteem were significantly more likely than others to respond to problems and conflicts by deciding to leave the relationship, seeking other partners, and engaging in other behaviors that would actively contribute to the deterioration of the relationship.…”