Living Outside Protocol: Polyamorous Orientations, Bodies, and Queer Temporalities

Abstract

This study investigates experiences of polyamory in a society where monogamy is the norm. Polyamory is when more than two people are involved in an intimate and/ or sexual relationship. The relationships are known to those involved, and everyone has the opportunity to have multiple relationships at the same time. In-depth interviews were completed with 22 persons in Sweden who identify as polyamorous. Drawing on Ahmed's phenomenological concepts of turning points and lines and Halberstam's concept of queer time and temporality, the following questions are explored: What turning points can be seen in the informants' stories? And what consequences are the informants exposed to when heteronormative expectations are not followed? In the theoretical language of Ahmed, living a life within monogamous boundaries would be considered as being "in line". Going beyond these monogamous heteronormative lines can result in more relational choices by which one has to find out what kind of relationship works best instead of following a ready-made template. The majority of the informants feel forced to conceal their relationship constellations in several situations and contexts. Living a queer life is seen by others in society as not only incomprehensible but also immature and inexperienced. Interactions with healthcare professionals seldom offer any relief from this; instead, the informants' stories of these encounters can be interpreted as instances of being stopped and blocked, resulting in stress and shame.

Queering singlehood: Examining the intersection of sexuality and relationship status from a queer lens

“…Queer relationships can also challenge relationship normativity (Barker, 2019;Carlström & Andersson, 2019;Lamont, 2017;Pallotta-Chiarolli et al, 2020;Sheff, 2013Sheff, , 2020. Building on the history of romantic friendships, LGBTQIA+ identities, and families of choice are newer understandings of how to queer relationships (the verb).…”

The Discursive Construction of Polyamory: Legitimising an Alternative to Monogamy

“…According to some authors, one of the consequences of mononormativity is that polyamory lacks a clear interactional framework guiding narratives of the self and relational commitments (Domínguez et al, 2017) since it exists outside of normatively structured everyday reality (Carlström, & Andersson, 2019). There is no single way to be polyamorous; therefore, polyamory has been described as a personal identity, a sexual orientation, a relationship structure, and a relational orientation (Jordan et al, 2017).…”

Adolescent Sexual and Reproductive Health Counselling in Relation to Female Genital Cutting: Swedish Professionals’ Approach to Menstrual Pain as an Empirical Example

“…Bergström et al, 2013;Khaja et al, 2010) but has been identified in several sexuality related fields. For example, in a Swedish context such an approach has been reported in relation to LBGT groups (Björkman & Malterud, 2009), persons with experience of selling sex (Holmström, 2015;Larsdotter et al, 2011), and people with polyamorous lifestyles (Carlström & Andersson, 2019). Ultimately it may lead to suboptimal outcomes of the health encounter.…”