Based on interviews and ethnographic fieldwork within BDSM communities in Sweden, this article focuses on links between non-monogamy and BDSM. Drawing on Halberstam´s concept of queer space, the following questions are investigated: What are the connections between BDSM and non-monogamous communities? How does interaction between BDSM and non-monogamous practices create non-normative logic? The transgression of one norm makes it easier to transgress other norms as well, providing opportunities to find new ways of organizing relationships beyond the norms of monogamy. In order for an individual to be able to fully explore kinks in BDSM practices and at the same time respect the boundaries of a partner, nonmonogamy emerges as one logical answer.
This study investigates experiences of polyamory in a society where monogamy is the norm. Polyamory is when more than two people are involved in an intimate and/ or sexual relationship. The relationships are known to those involved, and everyone has the opportunity to have multiple relationships at the same time. In-depth interviews were completed with 22 persons in Sweden who identify as polyamorous. Drawing on Ahmed's phenomenological concepts of turning points and lines and Halberstam's concept of queer time and temporality, the following questions are explored: What turning points can be seen in the informants' stories? And what consequences are the informants exposed to when heteronormative expectations are not followed? In the theoretical language of Ahmed, living a life within monogamous boundaries would be considered as being "in line". Going beyond these monogamous heteronormative lines can result in more relational choices by which one has to find out what kind of relationship works best instead of following a ready-made template. The majority of the informants feel forced to conceal their relationship constellations in several situations and contexts. Living a queer life is seen by others in society as not only incomprehensible but also immature and inexperienced. Interactions with healthcare professionals seldom offer any relief from this; instead, the informants' stories of these encounters can be interpreted as instances of being stopped and blocked, resulting in stress and shame.
The concept of love was introduced into a Swedish policy context in the early 1980s as regulations of same-sex cohabitation were proposed. The same-sex cohabitation legislation was presented as a tool in the battle against discrimination of lesbian women and gay men in the government commissioned reports, and offered an inclusion of same-sex couples based on the idea of same-sex love and heterosexual love as fundamentally the same. The article demonstrates how this governing of same-sex relationships rested heavily on authenticity and inclusion/exclusion of wanted/unwanted non-heterosexual subjects. By creating a concept of gay identity based on an essentialist notion of orientation, love was used as a sign of normality indicating authentic 'homosexual orientation' and restricting this authenticity to individuals in monogamous and stable same-sex relationships. Nevertheless, the act only recognized a selected few and created new lines of division between different non-heterosexual subjectivities.
Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) involves being in a relationship that allows participants multiple concurrent sexual and/or intimate partners. Previous studies exploring attitudes toward different types of extra-dyadic sexual activity (EDSA) has typically distinguished between, on the one hand, polyamory/open relationships/swinging and, on the other, infidelity. The aim of this article is to develop further these discussions by showing how the distinctions between relationship types are drawn and/or blurred in social interactions, and how this requires moral work and negotiations of what ethical polyamory is. The research questions are as follows: 1. How are different CNM relationship types distinguished from each other, as well as intertwined and negotiated in social interactions? 2. How are ideals of consent, honesty, and communication reproduced and renegotiated in CNM relationships? 3. How does moral work become important for responding to negative attitudes toward CNM? The material consists of interviews with 22 persons practicing polyamory, CNM, or relationship anarchy, analyzed using thematic analysis. Results show that CNM relationship types are not clearly distinguishable but rather negotiated in social interactions both within a relationship and with others. Interviewees express that consent, honesty, and communication are central for their relationships, but also that they are negotiated. For example, honesty can be renegotiated by introducing an option of not telling your partner everything. Consent can also be renegotiated with some conditions, such as not actively searching out potential partners. They describe several different types of moral work: negotiating and reformulating others’ moral opinions, reversing moral hierarchies, and taking responsibility to explain and to soothe situations. These results contribute to existing research on attitudes toward CNM practices pointing out the importance of taking social interactions into account in order to explore the full extent of negative attitudes toward people involved in CNM relationships and how they handle these interactions.
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