Donor Insemination: Telling Children About Their Origins

Abstract

Despite growing discussion of the potential benefits of openness in relation to children conceived by donated gametes, the majority of parents do not intend to tell a future child about his/her origins. As a result little is actually known about the experiences and concerns of families who do choose openness. This is a descriptive study of 83 DI Network members who did intend to or had told a child conceived, using donor insemination, about his/her origins. Quantitative and qualitative data focused on their concerns and experiences of telling. Health professionals face the challenge of providing the opportunity for discussion of these issues both before treatment and afterwards during childhood.

Strategies for disclosure: how parents approach telling their children that they were conceived with donor gametes

“…We found that, despite their decision to disclose, parents of children conceived with donor gametes voiced a variety of concerns that have been consistently attributed to gamete donor parents in past research (1,3,7,10,14,(16)(17)(18)(19)(20). As we found that both DI and ED parents typically employed one of two disclosure strategies to prepare for and enact disclosure to their children, we postulate that these strategies provide a framework for addressing their concerns and help parents manage their uncertainty while still retaining their commitment to disclosure.…”

“…We found that most parents using the seed-planting strategy began or planned to begin disclosing to their children between the ages of three and four, coinciding with reports of early disclosure from New Zealand and the United Kingdom (7,14,17,19). Although parents subscribing to the right-time strategy anticipated disclosing to their children around the ages of ten to twelve, disclosure actually took place between the ages of 6 and 7, congruent with Durna's report of Australian DI parents planning to disclose to children age 8.4 years but actually disclosing to children at age 6.3 years (4).…”

“…As it has been speculated that the general lack of assistance, and specifically the lack of disclosure "scripts" may be a deterrent for parents in carrying through with the disclosure (1), it seems clear that if disclosure of donor gametes is to become more widespread, parents will require greater support services to assist them in this process. Although Hunter and Lycett in Great Britain (17,19) and Rumball and Adair in New Zealand (7) reported wide use of written materials including "My Story" (44) and other similar books published in Europe and Australia, parents in this study, particularly those using the right-time strategy, generally expressed frustration at what they perceived to be a lack of resources and support to help them explain donor conception to their children. Whether this reflects a level of ambivalence, initiative, or motivation on the part of these parents or rather represents a lack of availability or guidance, it appears that many of these affluent and highly educated American men and women were not accessing or utilizing existing materials to assist them with disclosure.…”

“…It is well established that parents who conceive children using donor gametes find coming to a disclosure decision a challenging task, yet even those parents who have made a commitment to disclosure are frequently uncertain about the timing, the method, and the outcomes of disclosing (2,12,(16)(17)(18)(19)(20). Based on in-depth interviews with 112 disclosing couples who had used egg donation or donor insemination to conceive at least one living child, this report summarizes our findings with respect to disclosure planning and timing as well as the specific strategies and stories parents utilize in conveying the disclosure information to their children.…”

“…While considerable research has addressed parents' motivations for disclosing or not disclosing their use of donor gametes to offspring (1,3,7,10,14,(16)(17)(18)(19), with few exceptions (7,(18)(19)(20), there has been little exploration of the manner in which parents actually envision and enact disclosure. By reporting the findings of a large qualitative interview study examining DI and ED parents' experiences with disclosure, we hope to add to the current understanding of parents' disclosure planning, timing, and the specific strategies and narratives they utilize for conveying this information to their children.…”