Children’s experiences of domestic violence and abuse: Siblings’ accounts of relational coping

Abstract

This article explores how young people see their relationships, particularly their sibling relationships, in families affected by domestic violence, and how relationality emerges in their accounts as a resource to build an agentic sense of self. The 'voice' of children is largely absent from domestic violence literature, which typically portrays them as passive, damaged and relationally incompetent. Children's own understandings of their relational worlds are often overlooked, and consequently existing models of children's social interactions give inadequate accounts of their meaning-making-in-context. Drawn from a larger study of children's experiences of domestic violence and abuse, this paper uses two case studies of sibling relationships to explore young people's use of relational resources, for coping with violence in the home. The paper explores how relationality and coping intertwine in young people's accounts, and disrupts the taken for granted assumption that children's 'premature caring' or 'parentification' is (only) pathological in children's responses to domestic violence. This has implications for understanding young people's experiences in the present, and supporting their capacity for relationship building in the future. 1Callaghan J, Alexander J, Sixsmith J & Fellin LC (2017) Children's experiences of domestic violence and abuse: siblings' accounts of relational coping, Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 22 (4), pp. 649-668. Copyright © The Author(s) 2015. Reprinted by permission of SAGE Publications. 2Children's experiences of domestic violence and abuse: siblings' accounts of relational coping This article explores how young people see their relationships in families affected by domestic violence (DV) and how relationality emerges in their accounts as a resource to build an agentic sense of self. In understanding children's experiences of DV, academic literature has typically positioned children as passive 'victims' and 'witnesses', 'damaged' or impacted by the violence they live with. Children who grow up in circumstances of DV are described as at risk of a range of psychosocial difficulties, including risk of mental health difficulties across the lifespan (Meltzer et al. 2009, Mezey et al. 2005, educational challenges (Byrne & Taylor, 2007), and interpersonal difficulties in their own future intimate relationships and friendships (Black, Sussman, & Unger, 2010;Ehrensaft et al., 2003;Siegel, 2013). They are also more at risk of both bullying and being bullied (Baldry, 2003;Lepistö, Luukkaala, & Paavilainen, 2011) and are vulnerable to a range of other possible abuses across their lifespan (Finkelhor, Ormrod, & Turner, 2007;Turner, Finkelhor, & Ormrod, 2010). They are represented as having more 'concrete' styles of relating and reduced emotional competence (Katz, Hessler, & Annest, 2007;Katz & Windecker-Nelson, 2006). Recently, literature has suggested that not only are children impacted psychosocially, but that the lasting traumatic impact of witnessing violence also raises...

Children’s embodied experience of living with domestic violence: “I’d go into my panic, and shake, really bad”

“…However, when disrupted by violence, or by other experiences that unsettle this sense of belonging, home can, Mallett argues, become a space of marginalisation and estrangement. In our interviews with children, home-and family relations-emerged as a complex and ambiguous space for children -on the one hand a dangerous space of violence and threat, on the other hand, a space in which they could reclaim a sense of agency, and that enabled a capacity for resistance Callaghan, Alexander, et al, 2016a, 2016b.…”

“…Both brothers drew attention to scars and marks. These were not necessarily the immediate consequence of violence in the family, but were marks left by risky activities, accidents and relatively ordinary childhood bumps and bruises (see (Callaghan, Alexander, et al, 2016b),for a more detailed analysis of sibling interactions in relation to this interview).…”

Children and domestic violence: Emotional competencies in embodied and relational contexts.

“…For children who have experienced violence, these emotional and relational worlds (particularly family relationships) are often fraught and contradictory (Callaghan, Alexander, Sixsmith, & Fellin, 2016b). Michelle (UK, 8) is able to articulate her experience of the connection between emotion, relationality and subjectivity in complex, evocative ways, reflecting on the varying positions available in her high conflict family.…”

“…Elsewhere (Callaghan, Alexander, Sixsmith, et al, 2016b) we have outlined how children's sense of relational competence is often linked to their identity as carers in the family. Children's capacity for caring relies on sensitive attunement to the emotional landscape of the family, enabling them to recognise who needs their care, and how that care might best be provided.…”

Caring or Vulnerable Children? Sibling Relationships When Exposed to Intimate Partner Violence

“…For instance, in Swedish government action plans and social work interventions, IPV‐exposed children are frequently portrayed as passive, vulnerable and in need of adult protection (Andersson and Cater, ). This is also evident in scientific discourse where they are argued to embody victimhood without blame or responsibility (Callaghan and others, ; Poretti and others, ). This paper explores processes of victim positioning by analysing how 10 children in Sweden narrate how they and their siblings have responded to adult IPV.…”