Relationship breakups are common (Connolly & McIsaac, 2009), and difficulty adjusting to the breakup can manifest as post-relationship contact and tracking (PRCT; Lee & O'Sullivan, 2014). Emerging adults (n = 271; aged 18–25; 66% female) provided reports of PRCT after their most recent breakup in the previous year. We examined relationship and breakup characteristics to predict the use of and experience of PRCT. Logistic regression analyses revealed that ex-partner initiation of the breakup and a more intense breakup predicted the use of PRCT, and ex-partner's surprise regarding the breakup predicted being a target of PRCT. A between-subjects comparison of participants who either used or experienced PRCT reported similar impact of PRCT on the self or their ex-partner. However, participants who both used and experienced PRCT reported that the impact that an ex-partner's PRCT had on their lives was more negative than their use of PRCT had on their ex-partner's life, likely reflecting an actor-observer bias in reports. Difficulty adjusting to relationship breakup is normal, and predictive of attempts to remain in contact with an ex-partner. However, the seemingly benign form of contact can have a negative impact on individuals. The findings have implications for those counselling individuals in distress following a breakup, and contribute to the discourse around boundaries after a breakup.
Mate poaching occurs when a person attracts another, whom he or she knows is already in an exclusive relationship, into a sexual or romantic relationship. Mate poaching is involved in the evolution of many relationships. Yet, little is known about the quality of these relationships. We examined relationship quality between individuals whose relationships were formed via mate poaching versus not (i.e., a relationship formed serially without overlap with another relationship). We compared ratings of quality from the perspectives of poachers, poached, and co-poached individuals. Adult participants (n = 660) in a romantic relationship responded to questions assessing relationship quality. Those in relationships formed from poaching rated their relationships as lower in relationship satisfaction, commitment and trust, and higher in jealousy, and had higher rates of romantic and sexuality infidelity in their current relationship compared to individuals in non-poached relationships. Those who were poached from an existing relationship rated their current relationship as lower in commitment than did those who poached their current partner into a relationship. The study also provides first insights regarding relationship quality for those who identify as co-poached. We discuss these findings in terms of implications for understanding how relationships are formed and the qualities of those that endure.
Although monogamy (i.e., romantic and/or sexual exclusivity) remains the most common arrangement for romantic partnerships, there is little research exploring how couples communicate about exclusivity to one another. The current study assessed the ways in which couples discuss and negotiate exclusivity agreements, and whether those agreements change over time. Participants were 573 North American adults (mean age = 28.86 years; 52% identified as female) in romantic relationships who completed an online survey asking them to describe their current exclusivity agreements using both structured and open-ended survey questions. Open-ended data were subjected to inductive content analysis, and eight primary themes were identified. Although most (91%) indicated that they have an agreement to remain romantically and sexually exclusive in their relationships, only 43% reported coming to the agreement during an explicit conversation with their partner. More often (52%) the agreements were described as implied, meaning they had never actually been discussed. Of those with exclusivity agreements, 87% reported no change to their agreement throughout the relationship. Implications are discussed in terms of the value of direct communication between partners about exclusivity and infidelity.
Potential alternative partners can threaten the stability of established relationships, yet a romantic or sexual attraction to someone with whom you are not currently involved (i.e., a ‘crush’) appears common for those in relationships (Mullinax, Barnhart, Mark, & Herbenick, 2016). This study assessed prevalence of such crushes, individual and relationship predictors, and links to infidelity. Adults (N = 247, aged 25–45, 43.3% women) in romantic relationships completed surveys assessing individual characteristics (attention to alternatives, sociosexual orientation, attachment avoidance), relationship quality (satisfaction, commitment, intimacy), and infidelity. The degree of attention to alternatives predicted whether one had a crush on another while in a romantic relationship. Crushes were fairly common and seemed to have had few negative implications for those in established relationships. These findings will be of use to therapists addressing couples’ attraction to others.
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