Why Find My Own When I Can Take Yours?: The Quality of Relationships That Arise From Successful Mate Poaching

Abstract

Mate poaching occurs when a person attracts another, whom he or she knows is already in an exclusive relationship, into a sexual or romantic relationship. Mate poaching is involved in the evolution of many relationships. Yet, little is known about the quality of these relationships. We examined relationship quality between individuals whose relationships were formed via mate poaching versus not (i.e., a relationship formed serially without overlap with another relationship). We compared ratings of quality from the perspectives of poachers, poached, and co-poached individuals. Adult participants (n = 660) in a romantic relationship responded to questions assessing relationship quality. Those in relationships formed from poaching rated their relationships as lower in relationship satisfaction, commitment and trust, and higher in jealousy, and had higher rates of romantic and sexuality infidelity in their current relationship compared to individuals in non-poached relationships. Those who were poached from an existing relationship rated their current relationship as lower in commitment than did those who poached their current partner into a relationship. The study also provides first insights regarding relationship quality for those who identify as co-poached. We discuss these findings in terms of implications for understanding how relationships are formed and the qualities of those that endure.

Mate Poaching

“…They report individuals in romantic relationships formed by poaching rated their relationships as having lower satisfaction, commitment, and trust, higher jealousy, and higher rates of emotional and sexual infidelity compared to those in non-poached relationships (Belu and O'Sullivan 2018;largely replicating Foster et al 2014). Further, those who were poached compared to those who did the poaching also rated their current relationship as lower in commitment (Belu and O'Sullivan 2018). The link between poaching and relationship quality is influenced by sociosexuality.…”

“…Poached individuals are less committed to their current relationship and less satisfied overall, as compared to those who were not poached. Belu and O'Sullivan (2018) extended this prior work by examining a variety of issues related to relationship quality in 675 heterosexual adults, which included a specifically solicited sample of those with mate poaching experience. They report individuals in romantic relationships formed by poaching rated their relationships as having lower satisfaction, commitment, and trust, higher jealousy, and higher rates of emotional and sexual infidelity compared to those in non-poached relationships (Belu and O'Sullivan 2018;largely replicating Foster et al 2014).…”

“…Belu and O'Sullivan (2018) extended this prior work by examining a variety of issues related to relationship quality in 675 heterosexual adults, which included a specifically solicited sample of those with mate poaching experience. They report individuals in romantic relationships formed by poaching rated their relationships as having lower satisfaction, commitment, and trust, higher jealousy, and higher rates of emotional and sexual infidelity compared to those in non-poached relationships (Belu and O'Sullivan 2018;largely replicating Foster et al 2014). Further, those who were poached compared to those who did the poaching also rated their current relationship as lower in commitment (Belu and O'Sullivan 2018).…”