Why do they Keep Going Back? Exploring Women's Discursive Experiences of Intimate Partner Abuse

Abstract

This paper explores how different discourses of intimate partner abuse (IPA) may impact women's decisions to stay or leave their partners. More specifically, we ask: 1) what narratives are available to and used by heterosexual and non-heterosexual female survivors of IPA to make sense of their experiences? 2) How might these narratives impact women's ability, or lack thereof, to disengage from their abusive partners? Prior literature suggests that there are four possible discourses on which women may draw including psychological (victim and offender), gendered political, and the narrative of romantic love. Analysis of discussion forums from online social networking sites revealed that while each of these discourses are utilised by women, scripts of romantic love may provide the strongest motivation for accepting and maintaining an abusive relationship. In contrast, understanding the psychological motivations of their abusers may empower female survivors to extricate themselves from the violence.

“My Body Came Between Us”

“…In contrast to the (nondisabled) participants in the study by Hayes and Jeffries (2013), some accounts of “damaged” perpetrators allowed women to remain in, rather than exit, abusive relationships. This may relate to the vulnerable self-images of some women with disabilities (Hassouneh-Phillips & McNeff, 2005) which may be projected onto their partners.…”

“…In identifying herself as a ''healer'' doing what women do, her gender identity was highlighted and her disability identity mitigated. As Hayes and Jeffries (2013) assert, romantic discourses proliferate among abused women for whom suffering may be conflated with love. Christine, like many women with disabilities, had been framed as ''the broken one,'' so assuming the mantle of healer may have restored a sense of competency.…”

“…The ability to name partner abuse can be emancipatory (Hayes & Jeffries, 2013); however, this process may require time and safety (Kulkarni et al, 2012). The current study examined accounts of previously victimized women with physical disabilities, most of whom employed romantic discourses to frame their situations.…”

“…Women who employed a romantic discourse conveyed that, with hard work, they could transform abusive men into good partners (Hayes & Jeffries, 2013). This may be particularly common among women with disabilities, for whom discourses of ''damage'' and ''rehabilitation'' are ubiquitous.…”

“…Some participants had employed accounts framing their abuser as disabled, broken, or damaged—and therefore deserving of for bearance. Women who employed a romantic discourse conveyed that, with hard work, they could transform abusive men into good partners (Hayes & Jeffries, 2013). This may be particularly common among women with disabilities, for whom discourses of “damage” and “rehabilitation” are ubiquitous.He was as strong as an ox but a little comment could bowl him right over.…”