Why are undergraduate emerging adults anxious and avoidant in their romantic relationships? The role of family relationships

Abstract

The exploration of and search for romantic relationships is one of the developmental tasks that characterise emerging adulthood, a new developmental phase halfway between adolescence and full adulthood. This study aims to explore, in a Mediterranean country, the existing relationships between the subjective perception of some parental behaviour and the anxiety and avoidance dimensions of attachment during emerging adulthood. To do so, 1,502 university students (903 women and 599 men) aged between 18 and 29 (M = 20.32 and SD = 2.13) completed a self-report questionnaire. The results revealed that perceived family support and perceived parental warmth were negatively associated with the avoidance and anxiety dimensions. In contrast, perceived parental control (both behavioural and psychological) was found to be positively associated with both attachment dimensions. Perceived behavioural control was also found to play a moderator role between perceived parental warmth and romantic attachment anxiety. Only in cases in which emerging adults of our sample perceived low levels of behavioural control was warmth found to be negatively associated with anxiety. The main conclusion of this work is the negative impact that parental control seems to have on romantic attachment during emerging adulthood. The results are discussed with a focus on the continuing importance of the family context in relation to the completion of developmental tasks, even during emerging adulthood.

Parental psychological control perceived in adolescence predicts jealousy toward romantic partners in emerging adulthood via insecure attachment

“…Experiencing jealousy entails low relationship satisfaction and poor relationship quality (Dandurand & Lafontaine, 2014), as jealous individuals may spend their time and energy to question their romantic partners and remove threats such as rivals (Mathes & Severa, 1981) rather than spending quality time with their romantic partners. In other words, on top of experiencing invalidating and ungratifying relationships during adolescence with their psychologically controlling parents (Choe & Read, 2019), adolescents who grew up with psychologically controlling parents may not have satisfying relationships with their significant others in their emerging adulthood (Choe et al., 2020; Díez et al., 2019; Parise et al., 2017). Given the importance of emerging adulthood in romantic relationships (Arnett, 2006; Fincham & Cui, 2010; Shulman & Connolly, 2013), poor relationship quality in emerging adulthood from PPC perceived in adolescence can add more stress and possibly lead to frustrated relational needs during their later developmental stages.…”

Attachment Style and Its Relationships with Early Memories of Separation Anxiety and Adult Separation Anxiety Symptoms among Emerging Adults

“…These results are consistent with the available literature regarding the developmental challenges that emerging adults have to face, characterized, in particular, by the experience of “feeling in-between” [ 17 ]. Emerging adults have to face a process of exploration in several key areas of their lives, such as the search for a romantic relationship, which represents one of their intrinsic developmental tasks [ 9 ]. However, in the Italian context, this exploration usually occurs within the parents’ household, where most emerging adults continue to live [ 13 ], thereby relying on their family nucleus as their safe zone even in adulthood.…”

“…The experience of increased adult separation symptoms can increase difficulties in developing romantic attachment relationships and, as a consequence, increase the chances of adopting an anxious attachment style [ 21 ]. Indeed, it is in this context that the way an individual responds behaviorally and emotionally to close relationships is influenced by their mental representations of attachment relationships, developed through experiences with significant others [ 9 ] (i.e., early memories of separation anxiety). In line with this, Brennan’s model suggests that adults with high levels of romantic anxious attachment overvalue their relationships, show a negative image of themselves, and fear separation [ 9 ].…”

“…Indeed, it is in this context that the way an individual responds behaviorally and emotionally to close relationships is influenced by their mental representations of attachment relationships, developed through experiences with significant others [ 9 ] (i.e., early memories of separation anxiety). In line with this, Brennan’s model suggests that adults with high levels of romantic anxious attachment overvalue their relationships, show a negative image of themselves, and fear separation [ 9 ]. Therefore, this mediational model may provide additional knowledge to the literature, which, in turn, can be useful for clinical practice to understand the importance of tracing back retrospective memories of separation anxiety experienced during childhood to influence current adult separation anxiety symptoms.…”

“…Moreover, these individuals harbor negative self-views, while being both guarded and optimistic toward their romantic partners. These conflicting perceptions lead anxious individuals to question their worth, they worry about losing their partners, and they remain vigilant to signs that their partners might leave them [ 8 , 9 ]. Accordingly, people with anxious attachment are more prone to use emotion-focused and hyper-activating coping strategies when distressed, which sustain or escalate their worries and often keep their attachment systems chronically activated [ 10 ].…”