When low self-esteem encourages behaviors that risk rejection to increase interdependence: The role of relational self-construal.

Abstract

Increasing interdependence in an intimate relationship requires engaging in behaviors that risk rejection, such as expressing affection and asking for support. Who takes such risks and who avoids them? Although several theoretical perspectives suggest that self-esteem plays a crucial role in shaping such behaviors, they can be used to make competing predictions regarding the direction of this effect. Six studies reconcile these contrasting predictions by demonstrating that the effects of self-esteem on behaviors that risk rejection to increase interdependence depend on relational self-construal— i.e., the extent to which people define themselves by their close relationships. In Studies 1 and 2, participants were given the opportunity to disclose negative personal information (Study 1) and feelings of intimacy (Study 2) to their dating partners. In Study 3, married couples reported the extent to which they confided in one another. In Study 4, we manipulated self-esteem and relational self-construal and participants reported their willingness to engage in behaviors that increase interdependence. In Studies 5 and 6, we manipulated the salience of interpersonal risk and participants reported their willingness to engage in behaviors that risk rejection to increase interdependence. In all six studies, self-esteem was positively associated with behaviors that can increase interdependence among people low in relational self-construal but negatively associated with those behaviors among people high in relational self-construal. Accordingly, theoretical descriptions of the role of self-esteem in relationships will be most complete to the extent that they consider the degree to which people define themselves by their close relationships.

Sexual Narcissism and Infidelity in Early Marriage

“…Finally, own grandiose sense of sexual skill was marginally positively associated with infidelity across both studies, indicating the spouses who were more confident about their sexual skill were more likely to commit an infidelity. This latter finding joins other research suggesting that a sense of confidence and optimism is not always beneficial (see Baker & McNulty, 2013; Gibson & Sanbonmatsu, 2004; Isaacowitz & Seligman, 2002; McNulty & Karney, 2004; Norem, 2001; O’Mara, McNulty, & Karney, 2011; Shepperd & McN-ulty, 2002). Rather, the implications of a sense of skill likely depend on the context in which it is held and the outcome in question (McNulty, 2010; McNulty & Fincham, 2012; McNulty & Karney, 2004).…”

The relationship between approval-based contingent self-esteem and conformity is influenced by sex and task difficulty

“…For individuals with low self-esteem, they may have decided to conform to the behavior of others when they were uncertain about the correct answer in order to fit in with the rest of the group rather than risking potential rejection by standing apart from the others. This is consistent with recent results showing that individuals with low self-esteem appear to strategically modify their behavior across situations in an attempt to increase their interdependence with others (Baker & McNulty, 2013).…”

Self‐esteem trajectories across 25 years and midlife intimate relations

“…Studies have begun examining mediating and moderating influences on the association between self‐esteem and couple functioning. For example, secure attachment mediated links between self‐esteem and relationship satisfaction in cross‐sectional analyses (Erol & Orth, ), and relationship self‐construal, or the extent to which one's identity is defined by close relationships, moderated associations between self‐esteem and relationship‐enhancing behaviors in a series of six studies (Baker & McNulty, ). Potential mediating factors are raised in the present study.…”