Two Sides of Romantic Rejection

Abstract

This chapter revolves around the kind of rejection accompanied by special feelings toward the person who initiated the refusal of an aspiring lover's proposal. Discussed here are the perception differences of the rejected and the rejector, as well as their corresponding implications. Unreciprocated feelings result in self-degradation, despair, and lack of enthusiasm to engage in future relationships. Maintenance of a certain level of friendship or acquaintance can be hindered by the awkward aftermaths of mismatched affections. Recognition of the fact that not all emotions are mutually rewarded all the time will enable people with heartbreaking experiences to move on. Additional tips to soothe the getting-over phase are as follows: understanding the reasons of unrequited love, diverting attention to other aspects (mainly the future), as well as appreciating time alone and the presence of families, friends, and others who care.

Social Ostracism in Task Groups: The Effects of Group Composition

“…A decrease in selfesteem might function as an evolved psychological adaptation, which signals the loss of potential mates and reproductive resources and also signals a decrease in one's own perceived genetic value as a romantic partner (Shackelford, 2001). Similar to results found in this study, romantic rejection can reduce reported levels of self-esteem and mood (Baumeister & Dhavale, 1995). Indeed, the absence of flirting from members of the opposite gender may be enough to signal rejection (Trost & Alberts, 2006).…”

Unrequited Love

“…In fact, many of the would-be lovers' memories were bittersweet and warm (Bratslavsky et al 1998). For the would-be lover, the situation does not always have to end badly, because the would-be lover perceives outcomes ranging from very negative to very positive (Baumeister and Dhavale 2001). Conversely, most rejectors had very negative recollections and feelings about the entire episode (Bratslavsky et al 1998).…”

“…Similarly, the early stages of a potential romantic relationship also provide fertile soil for unrequited love involvements to develop. Unrequited love can thus be considered a "false start" on the way to mutual love (Baumeister and Dhavale 2001). Two people may develop a mutual interest in one another and after a few interactions, one person's feelings diminish, whereas the other's flourish (Bratslavsky et al 1998).…”

“…However, before the initial rejection of the would-be lover, the experience of unrequited love can be a much better one for the would-be lover than it can be for the rejector (or the "target"), the individual who does not reciprocate the would-be lover's feelings. The would-be lover may be hopeful that they can change the rejector's feelings and make them feel passionate feelings too, keeping them persistent with their advances (Baumeister and Dhavale 2001). On the other hand, the rejector may become very annoyed or, in severe cases, even uncomfortable with the would-be lover's advances, especially if the would-be lover does not stop.…”

Lonely hearts and angry minds: Online dating rejection increases male (but not female) hostility

“…It indeed frustrates the most essential and primitive social bond, that is romantic affiliation (see Stinson, Holmes, & He, 2011). Thus, this rejection can have relevant physical and psychological consequences, by posing a serious threat to peopleʼs self-image (Slotter, Gardner, & Finkel, 2010) and deeply affecting their well-being (e.g., Monroe, Rohde, Seeley, & Lewinsohn, 1999; see also Baumeister & Dhavale, 2001 for a review). Further, some works suggested possible differences in how men and women react to this form of rejection or relationship break-ups.…”