The queer spaces of BDSM and non-monogamy

Abstract

Based on interviews and ethnographic fieldwork within BDSM communities in Sweden, this article focuses on links between non-monogamy and BDSM. Drawing on Halberstam´s concept of queer space, the following questions are investigated: What are the connections between BDSM and non-monogamous communities? How does interaction between BDSM and non-monogamous practices create non-normative logic? The transgression of one norm makes it easier to transgress other norms as well, providing opportunities to find new ways of organizing relationships beyond the norms of monogamy. In order for an individual to be able to fully explore kinks in BDSM practices and at the same time respect the boundaries of a partner, nonmonogamy emerges as one logical answer.

Motivation of non-monogamous adults to engage in sex with their different partners

“…Consequently, another three reasons to engage in sex were added to the final questionnaire. Since some authors (Carlström and Andersson, 2019;Vilkin and Sprott, 2021) suggest that non-conventional sexual practices like BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism) or kink might be a significant factor to engage in a consensually non-monogamous relationship, the following questionnaire item was developed: 15. Specific sex: "I wanted to have sex which I cannot have with my other partner (such as kink, fetish, anal, etc.)"…”

“…For example, it was expected that individuals would seek sex with their primary partners more often to procreate, for utilitarian reasons, to express love and commitment, or other feelings like anger or feeling sorry. However, individuals would more often engage in sex with their secondary partners seeking new experiences, a different type of sex ( Carlström and Andersson, 2019 ; Vilkin and Sprott, 2021 ), or another gender ( Jordal, 2011 ; Compton and Bowman, 2017 ; Shao et al, 2021 ), and to experience the thrill of the forbidden ( Morin, 1996 ; Fishbach, 2009 ; Ruedy et al, 2013 ).…”

Differences in Motivation to Engage in Sexual Activity Between People in Monogamous and Non-monogamous Committed Relationships

“…Literature suggests that non-monogamous relationships provide an opportunity to meet one's diverse needs through multiple relationships (Mitchell et al, 2014;Balzarini and Muise, 2020), which leads to a conclusion that non-monogamous individuals may have more or other needs than monogamous individuals and result in additional reasons to engage in sex compared to monogamous individuals. Carlström and Andersson (2019) investigated the relationship between BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism) interests and nonmonogamy. They state that non-monogamy is a logical choice for people who identify as queer if they want to satisfy their kinky needs (Carlström and Andersson, 2019).…”

“… Carlström and Andersson (2019) investigated the relationship between BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism) interests and non-monogamy. They state that non-monogamy is a logical choice for people who identify as queer if they want to satisfy their kinky needs ( Carlström and Andersson, 2019 ). Moreover, being kinky is a transgression of norms per se , which also facilities the transgression of the norms of monogamy ( Carlström and Andersson, 2019 ).…”

“…They state that non-monogamy is a logical choice for people who identify as queer if they want to satisfy their kinky needs ( Carlström and Andersson, 2019 ). Moreover, being kinky is a transgression of norms per se , which also facilities the transgression of the norms of monogamy ( Carlström and Andersson, 2019 ). The study by Vilkin and Sprott (2021) supports this idea, stating that kink interests are an important motivator to engage in consensual non-monogamy.…”