“…Rituals are inherent in life, encompassing the traditional rites of passage such as christenings, marriages and funerals, and the more modern rituals such as gender reveals and living wakes ( Imber-Black, 2020 ). Relative to funerals, the familiar inherited structured rituals with or without religious symbolism may bring comfort, but the postmodern rituals may be preferred such as the individualised rituals celebrating a life lived ( Adamson & Holloway, 2013 ; Ramshaw, 2010 ; Davis (2008 , p.406) has said that ‘ funerals are the ultimate in final stories’ and this is seen in ceremonies and rituals that might include a photo array or videos of the deceased, the music they preferred, or personalised messaging such as drawing on/decorating the coffin ( Bruin-Mollenhorst, 2020 ; Holloway et al, 2013 ). The way in which funerals have been conducted to date though is through choice – of venue, who is notified/invited and proceedings, and choice or feelings of control in this ritualised process tends to mitigate grief responses ( Norton & Gino, 2014 ).…”