Music as Consolation—The Importance of Music at Farewells and Mourning

Abstract

In this study we examined a case where twelve participants conducted farewell ceremonies for their deceased relatives. Taking a qualitative approach, we used interviews and questionnaires to focus on life stories that involve grieving. Specifically, we asked about experiences of the grief process as related to choice of music. Our results indicate that the role of music in farewell rituals is important for the grieving process in several ways. Firstly, music was associated with positive memories of the loved one and gave rise to experiences of recognition. Secondly, music facilitated active participation in the grieving process through choosing farewell music together with a relative. Thirdly, selecting music for the funeral in advance, together with their loved ones, was also experienced as hopeful, comforting and consoling before, during and after the bereavement.

Music and Lyric Characteristics of Popular Dutch Funeral Songs

“…Here, song texts may help give voice to what the bereaved are feeling and empower them. Interestingly, this transference does not seem to be limited to sentences containing second-person pronouns but may also apply to sentences with first-person singular pronouns, as exemplified in qualitative research by Viper and colleagues (2020, p. 11): listeners may apply these first-person singular song texts to their own situation, or the lyrics in first-person become more likely essential when sung by a significant other. Additional research may also consider if the bereaved experience parts of the song lyrics as addressed to them when the music was chosen by the deceased and was meant to reflect the relationship with them.…”

“…Funeral homes offer advice on how and what music to select and even provide playlists and multimedia links on their websites as examples. The bereaved can experience the music selection process, sometimes after the wishes of or in agreement with the deceased, as comforting (Viper et al, 2020).…”

Music as a Facilitator for Skill Development: Revisiting Three Young First Nations Individuals on the Autism Spectrum

“…Debbie has had extreme aggressive outbursts when she hears a certain song that is believed to remind her of her father who has passed. Grief can be handled through music [3]. However, if there is another cause for the aggression when hearing the music, Debbie has gradually developed her ability to self-regulate her emotion and verbalize the experience [2] which has briefly been discussed previously [19].…”

“…Music can be used to self-regulate emotions [2]. Consolation can be found in music and can be a way to handle grief after the loss of a loved one [3]. Aggression can come both from lack of empathy and high levels of empathy [4].…”

Lessons Used for Millennia Must Not Be Lost—Adding Values to Higher Educational Programs through Arts and Aesthetics: A Literature Study

“…People usually sing and use music and art for rituals (birth, death, marriage, etc. ), so rituals are very important for our existential understanding of life (Viper et al, 2020). Unfortunately, rituals are not often used in higher education, more a concept for small children (Bojner Horwitz et al, 2022a).…”