The construction of the gendered self

Abstract

Feminist contributions to systemic approaches to human behaviour have led to gender being defined in interactional terms. Gender is seen not as a fixed quality or trait but as one socially constructed between men and women. This idea is discussed in relation to the gender debate in family therapy, attachment theory and feminist contributions to psychoanalytic thinking. Gender relationships are created as part of a person's internal working models of self and other. The ways in which gender patterns are carried forward are examined, especially with respect to the contradictions between a person's gendered internal working models and their experience. These ideas are explored through case examples.

Parents at‐risk and their children: intersections of gender role attitudes and parenting practices

“…Although some may dismiss the notion of gender stereotypes by suggesting traditional gender narratives are old-fashioned and no longer significant in contemporary society, doing so may raise the potential for the inadvertent replication of these gender-defined patterns in their own relationships (Knudson-Martin & Mahoney 1999). Some scholars suggest that within the subconscious ideals of a 'gender binary,' which is the duality of expressing oneself as masculine or feminine (Few-Demo et al 2014;Wiseman & Davidson 2012), there are rules and expectations for which individuals interpret and create their own identities (Diamond 2002;Hart 1996). These ideals influence how one acts and behaves in order to fit in with societal norms (Hart 1996;Wiseman & Davidson 2012).…”

“…These gendered narratives become a part of the way in which individuals interact with others and are eventually perpetuated in adult relationships (Knudson-Martin & Mahoney 1999). In turn, gender role norms and attitudes may have an important influence on family relationships (Hart 1996;Knudson-Martin & Mahoney 1999;Toomey et al 2015). Gender role narratives may place added pressure on both mothers and fathers.…”

Feeling Understood in Family Therapy

“…1985), which sees a major role for empathy of the therapist in getting close to the experience of the patient to work with narcissistic wounds caused by failures of responsiveness and admiration by early caregivers, and intersubjectivity theory (Stolorow et al, 1994), in which the analytic relationship is viewed as the meeting point between the subjectivities of analyst and patient and in which the former holds a (very second-order sounding) concern to understand from within this system. Themes of relational theory (see also Hart (1996) for a useful synthesis of feminist, psychoanalytic and social constructionist ideas on the relational self), not-knowing, collaboration and intersubjectivity should all be recognizable to the contemporary family therapist.…”

Daughters' dilemma: grief resolution in girls whose widowed fathers remarry early

“…They suggest that some men are particularly vulnerable to the secondary losses of widowerhood because they depend on their wives not only to manage domestic aspects of their lives (washing, ironing, cleaning the house, childcare), but also to maintain their social connectedness. Women appear more comfortable with emotions and their articulation (Duncombe and Marsden, 1993), and more experienced with issues of loss and attachment (Chodorow, 1978;Hart, 1996). Hence many widowers lose the one individual on whom, more than anyone else, they depend for their psychological wellbeing.…”