The article explores Johannes Kepler’s abortive attempts to produce an opulent, decorative art object to accompany the publication of his first treatise, Mysterium Cosmographicum (1596). It was Kepler’s hope that this Credentzbecher, so-called because it was designed to resemble a large, ceremonial chalice, would valorize the significance of what he believed to be an epoch-defining discovery concerning the proportional nature of the planetary intervals and serve as a personal introduction to his local sovereign, Duke Friedrich I of Württemberg (1557–1608). The correspondences of Kepler and his circle, some of which have been reproduced and translated here for the first time, reveal in excruciating detail the struggles to negotiate the demands, and exacting standards, of the Stuttgart court and Kepler’s difficulty working with the local goldsmiths employed by the court to enact his vision. Though met with skepticism and destined for failure, the model, its design, and the misunderstandings its failure revealed, poignantly display the sometimes-insurmountable gap between artisanal knowledge and scientific ambition.