Sleeping With Younger Men: Women’s Accounts of Sexual Interplay in Age-Hypogamous Intimate Relationships

“Daddies,” “Cougars,” and Their Partners Past Midlife: Gender Attitudes and Relationship and Sexual Well-Being among Older Adults in Age-Heterogenous Partnerships

“…It is likely related to stigma: There are substantial differences in how manolder and woman-older relationships are evaluated and perceived. Women who partner with younger men are devalued and stigmatized in ways that men who partner with younger women are not, reflecting women's devaluation in society, particularly as they age (Alarie 2019a(Alarie , 2019bMontemurro and Siefken 2014;Warren 1996). Stigmas attached to women partnered to younger men may affect relationship quality; external prejudice, in other words, may negatively affect the relationship well-being of women partnered to younger men.…”

“…First, social norms around the "appropriate" age gap between partners may result in external prejudice from social contacts and possibly internalized prejudice, both of which may affect relationship quality. Second, gendered double standards about who can pursue a younger partner and express sexual interest-both of which are more socially acceptable for men than for women (Alarie 2019a(Alarie , 2019bHamilton and Armstrong 2009;Montemurro and Siefken 2014;Warren 1996)-likely result in prejudice that affects well-being for those who challenge these norms, particularly women. Third, prejudice related to age (i.e., ageism), particularly as it relates to sex, likely affects the well-being of both older adults and their younger partners.…”

“…Few qualitative studies have examined individuals in ageheterogenous partnerships, but those that do suggest unique characteristics of individuals in them. Alarie (2019a) interviewed 55 women ages 30 to 60 who had dated men at least five years younger than them. She found that participants felt that they could have higher-quality sex with younger men, be sexually assertive, and ensure that their pleasure was attended to just as much as the man's.…”

“…While discussion of daddies in popular culture has exploded, there has been less coverage of women partnered to younger men ("cougars") and even less of women partnered to older men and men partnered to older women. Differential coverage of daddies and cougars reflects gender inequalities: It is rarer for women than men to be considered desirable as they age, and there is more stigma attached to woman-older relationships than man-older relationships (Alarie 2019a(Alarie , 2019bWarren 1996). While many consider it appropriate and desirable for older men to pursue younger women, the same is generally not true for women, and there are misconceptions and stigmas about women who partner with younger men (Alarie 2019b).…”

“…While many consider it appropriate and desirable for older men to pursue younger women, the same is generally not true for women, and there are misconceptions and stigmas about women who partner with younger men (Alarie 2019b). Evaluation of age-heterogenous partnerships is imbued with gendered inequalities that reflect women's devaluation in society more broadly, especially as they age (Alarie 2019a(Alarie , 2019bWarren 1996).…”