Shifting expectations of partners' responsiveness changes outcomes of conflict discussions

Abstract

Expecting responsiveness from a partner may increase the chance of successful conflict resolution through a self‐fulfilling prophecy. Such expectations derive in part from people's history of receiving responsiveness and from their belief that their partner values them (S. L. Murray, J. G. Holmes, & N. L. Collins, 2006). This belief can be fostered by having individuals reframe a partner's compliment in an abstract way (D. C. Marigold, J. G. Holmes, & M. Ross, 2007). In this study, 96 dating couples were randomly assigned to complete a compliment reframing intervention (or not) prior to discussing a conflict. Without intervention, couples who typically had a lot of conflict reported less positive expectations of their partner for the upcoming discussion and subsequently worse outcomes than low‐conflict couples; these differences were eliminated in the compliment reframing condition. This research demonstrates the importance of perceived value and expectations of responsiveness in shaping the outcomes of conflict discussions, suggesting additional points of intervention beyond communication skills for high‐conflict couples.

Brief Interventions for Couples: An Integrative Review

“…Two interventions focused on young adults who primarily reported being in dating relationships. One intervention was labeled the abstract reframing intervention (ARI; Marigold & Anderson, ; Marigold, Holmes, & Ross, , ). The ARI focused on young adults ( M = 19.8 years of age) whose current dating relationship had lasted a mean of 21.2 months at the time of participation.…”

“…Subsequently, this intervention was replicated with a different heterosexual sample to examine whether the ARI could influence expectations about how a conflict discussion would progress. Marigold and Anderson () found that those who reported higher conflict had lower expectations of their partners' responsiveness about a conflict discussion. However, after completing the ARI, expectations among high‐conflict couples concerning a conflict discussion were statistically indistinguishable from the expectations of low‐conflict couples.…”

“…First, researchers need to observe how these interventions influence adaptive processes (e.g., communication, affection) while examining the association between vulnerabilities and context to strengthen the fit between the VSA model and BCIs. This can be accomplished with observational coding (similar to Marigold & Anderson, ). Researchers, for example, could observe whether accounting for enduring vulnerabilities and contextual stressors during daily interactions influenced major interactions (e.g., conflict discussions), and eventually relationship satisfaction and stability.…”

Relationships, health, and well-being

“…Interventions targeted at responsiveness will undoubtedly need to consider both perceived and enacted components of responsiveness. In terms of helping close others (e.g., parents and children, friends, peers, romantic partners) optimize their perceptions of each other's responsiveness, research has demonstrated the relationship benefits of reframing compliments in an abstract way (i.e., thinking of compliments as broad, global indicators of one's value to a close other, see Marigold & Anderson, 2016). This strategy may be especially effective for individuals who struggle with negative views of the self and relationships (e.g., those who score low on self-esteem and/or high on attachment anxiety, attachment avoidance, rejection sensitivity, or neuroticism), which is important since these individuals are more likely to suffer from poorer HWB (e.g., Lahey, 2009;Stanton & Campbell, 2014;Trzesniewski et al, 2006).…”

“…In terms of helping close others optimize their enacted responsiveness toward each other, recent studies suggest that holding compassionate goals (i.e., goals that focus on supporting others out of consideration for their well-being, Crocker & Canevello, 2008), engaging in compassionate acts (Reis et al, 2017), and expressing gratitude (Gordon, Impett, Kogan, Oveis, & Keltner, 2012) may create a positive feedback loop of responsiveness in relationships-that is, by providing benefits both as a result of one's own responsive behavior and also by encouraging others to reciprocate in kind. Additionally, because perceived and enacted responsiveness are correlated and reciprocal (Debrot et al, 2012), expecting responsiveness from close others may create a selffulfilling prophecy (see Marigold & Anderson, 2016). These responsiveness-bolstering processes have exciting potential for promoting better HWB, but their efficacy in a health context has yet to be systematically investigated.…”