Relational Factors in Understanding Satisfaction in the Lasting Relationships of Same-Sex and Heterosexual Couples

Abstract

Satisfying relationships are important to the well-being of individuals and families. Because of increased longevity, many couples are staying together for extended periods of time. Thus, it is valuable to understand the factors that contribute to a sense of satisfaction among partners in lasting relationships. Relatively little attention has been paid in the research literature to relationships among older couples who have remained together for many years. Even less attention has been paid to the lasting relationships of couples of color and to gay male and lesbian couples. This paper focuses on understanding the factors that contribute to satisfaction of partners in the long-term relationships of a purposive sample of heterosexual and same-sex couples. Data was collected through in-depth interviews with 216 partners in 108 relationships that had lasted an average of 30 years. Using logistic regression analysis, two factors were identified as predictive of satisfaction during the recent years of these relationships: containment of relational conflict and psychologically intimate communication between partners. Based on these findings, a theoretical model for understanding satisfaction in lasting relationships is discussed.

Components of Love and Relationship Satisfaction: Lesbians and Heterosexual Women

“…For instance, because lesbians and gay men have higher levels of expressiveness which is linked to relationship satisfaction, lesbians and gay men may use the expressiveness in their relationship to handle issues in a positive manner. However, other research suggests there are no differences in relationship satisfaction based on sexual orientation or gender (Mackey, Diemer, & O'Brien, 2004). There is some evidence that relationship satisfaction is predicted more by the length of the relationship as opposed to the type of couple (Patterson, 1994).…”

Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Family Psychology: A Systemic, Life‐Cycle Perspective

“…Regardless of whether relationships are open or closed, many sexual minorities are in committed, satisfying same-sex relationships (Bryant & Demian, 1994;Mackey, Diemer, & O'Brien, 2004). The fact that so many lesbians and gay men are able to sustain lasting relationships in spite of non-support from family members, the legal system, and society is particularly remarkable.…”

“…Many studies have found few differences between same-sex and heterosexual couples in terms of relationship quality and satisfaction (e.g., Kurdek, 1998;Mackey et al, 2004), although some studies have found that lesbian couples report higher relationship quality than heterosexual couples (Kurdek, 2003). This finding may in part reflect the absence of structural barriers that govern heterosexual relationships: That is, the lack of institutionalized barriers to leaving their relationships (e.g., marriage, which confers legal, social, and religious validation and support) may lead couples to end their unions during times of crisis or dissatisfaction.…”

Understanding the Role of Relationship Maintenance in Enduring Couple Partnerships in Later Adulthood

“…A "good" marital relationship may help to mediate stressors, including greater resilience when coping with significant illness (Walker & Luszcz, 2009). Understanding how relationship quality is generated and maintained and the ways that it manifests in everyday life, is important, particularly in later adulthood when a partner can be the primary source of support (Mackey, Diemer, & O'Brien, 2004;Walker & Luszcz, 2009).…”