QUEER UNIONS: Same-Sex Spouses Marrying Tradition and Innovation

Abstract

Same-sex civil marriage is a focal point of debate among social conservatives, feminists, queer critics and lesbian and gay assimilationists. In this paper, I draw on in-depth interviews of thirty same-sex married spouses to explore how actual same-sex marriages relate to these debates. Among these spouses, civil marriage is perceived to provide significant legal, social and psychological resources that, in effect, consolidate the nuclear family and the institution of marriage. Yet, conversely, these spouses do not uniformly embrace traditional norms of marriage, but, rather, adopt a range of nontraditional norms and practices that, in effect, destabilize the traditional marital form. In sociological terms, however, their complexity is not surprising, as contemporary lesbians and gay men are dually socialized in the dialectic of a dominant “meaning-constitutive” tradition (Gross 2005) that valorizes (heterosexual) marriage and kinship, on the one hand, but a queer-meaning constitutive tradition that promotes sexual freedom and nontraditional gender relations, on the other. In this sense, one important sociological question for the future is the extent to which the increasing availability of same-sex marriage will transform the dialectic, eroding the structural conditions that underpin a distinctive queer meaning-constitutive tradition and, in turn, same-sex marital innovation.

“Let's Talk about the Institution”: Same‐Sex Common‐Law Partners Negotiating Marriage Equality and Relationship Legitimacy

“…For some, marriage equality is also desirable because it will enhance the respectability and social approval of LGBQ people by encouraging monogamous dyadic relationships, long-term commitments, and the creation of stable nuclear families suitable for child rearing; these norms point to conservative ideological underpinnings in some discourses that champion marriage equality (Duggan 2002;Yep et al 2003). 3 So far, empirical evidence has tended to focus on the individual benefits of equality, with same-sex couples reporting that they experience greater relationship recognition from others, as well as an increased sense of legitimacy about themselves and their relationship (Green 2010(Green , 2013Lannutti 2005). These couples felt greater inclusion within the workplace, community, and family as a result of their marital status, leading Green (2010) to note:…”

“…3 So far, empirical evidence has tended to focus on the individual benefits of equality, with same-sex couples reporting that they experience greater relationship recognition from others, as well as an increased sense of legitimacy about themselves and their relationship (Green 2010(Green , 2013Lannutti 2005). These couples felt greater inclusion within the workplace, community, and family as a result of their marital status, leading Green (2010) to note:…”

“…These discursive positions are complicated by recent qualitative research suggesting that actual samesex spouses in Ontario engage with both traditional and nontraditional marital norms and practices (see Green 2010Green , 2013 suggests that perceived relationship support and acceptance from social circles may have a significant impact upon a couple's well-being, sense of value, and community status ( Dudley et al 2005;Elizur and Mintzer 2003;Smith and Brown 1997;Wienke and Hill 2009). Marriage equality may be significant not just as a marker of equality, but as a practice with positive impacts on the people whose relationship has been formally legitimated.…”

“…Heterosexuality is normalized and naturalized through a multiplicity of institutional, cultural, and interactional mechanisms (Dudley et al 2005;Jordan and Deluty 2000;Kitzinger and Wilkinson 2004;Oswald 2003;Simoni and Walters 2001;Walters 2001;Weeks 1989), including ongoing stigmatization and discrimination (Lauster and Easterbrook 2011;Taylor and Peter 2011;Williams and Guiffre 2011). There is some indication that married people score higher on measures of well-being (Wienke and Hill 2009) and that married same-sex couples may experience less marginalization (Green 2010;Lannutti 2007;MacIntosh, Reissing, and Andruff 2010). However, some scholars have resisted the push for same-sex marriage, 1. This acronym stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer.…”

“…Previous research has considered how same-sex couples are impacted by the absence of legal marriage (Green 2006;Solomon, Rothblum, and Balsam 2004) and how LGBTQ communities resist this absence by bringing alternative versions of legality into being (Hull 2006;Nicol and Smith 2008). Scholars have also examined how same-sex couples negotiate and formalize their relationship through marriage Elizabeth 2012a, 2012b;Green 2010Green , 2013Kimport 2013;MacIntosh et al 2010) and civil partnerships (Rolfe and Peel 2011), where these options are legal. Yet, little work has explored how same-sex couples negotiate marriage in a country where they can get married but have decided (at least temporarily) to remain commonlaw partners.…”