We consider two seemingly very different self-assembly processes: formation of viral capsids and crystallization of sticky disks. At low temperatures, assembly is ineffective, since there are many metastable disordered states, which are a source of kinetic frustration. We use fluctuation-dissipation ratios to extract information about the degree of this frustration. We show that our analysis is a useful indicator of the long-term fate of the system, based on the early stages of assembly.