A model for incongruity in intimate partner relationships is described . The model is tested with results from earlier research on intimate partner relationships in plants and these results are reinterpreted . It is demonstrated that in relationships between partners from different populations incongruity, i .e . non-functioning of a partner relationship resulting from a lack of genetic information in one partner about the other, plays a major role, while that of incompatibility is secondary or absent . Sexual partner relationships and host-parasite relationships are shown to be essentially similar as regards their genetic basis . Some practical implications of incongruity are mentioned .