Perfectionists Do Not Play Nicely With Others: Expanding the Social Disconnection Model

Abstract

). However, some people have personality traits that impede their ability to participate in and benefit from stable, positive, and satisfying relationships. Life is difficult for such people. Being disconnected from others creates psychopathology by thwarting a basic need for close relationships.Perfectionism is a personality trait robustly associated with both social problems and psychopathology. The social disconnection model (SDM;Hewitt, Flett, Sherry, & Caelian, 2006) is an integrative theoretical framework clarifying how perfectionism generates psychopathology through negative social behaviors (e.g., conflictual interactions), cognitions (e.g., seeing others as disappointed), and outcomes (e.g., romantic breakups). In the present chapter, our goal is to articulate an expanded SDM that addresses limitations of the original formulation of this model. We also present two case studies illustrating how the expanded SDM is applicable to two well-known perfectionists: Sylvia Plath and Steve Jobs. But first, we define perfectionism, outline the original SDM, and discuss research supporting it.

On the Development of Perfectionism: The Longitudinal Role of Academic Achievement and Academic Efficacy

“…Finally, the finding that academic achievement was a common factor in the development of both dimensions of perfectionism suggests that high academic success may lead to multiple outcomes. This finding mirrors the principle of multifinality, positing that perfectionism leads to multiple outcomes through different pathways (Sherry, Mackinnon, & Gautreau, ). For example, academic achievement was found to predict the development of adolescents’ educational identity (Pop, Negru‐Subtirica, Crocetti, Opre, & Meeus, ).…”

Perfectionistic Concerns, Social Negativity, and Subjective Well‐Being: A Test of the Social Disconnection Model

“…Thus, perfectionistic people may experience social disconnection from others, which in turn inhibits their capacity for well‐being. This process has been codified and elaborated upon in the social disconnection model (Sherry, Mackinnon, & Gautreau, ), which proposes perfectionism indirectly leads to psychopathology via subjective and objective forms of social disconnection. The present study is a test of the social disconnection model in romantic dyads using a four‐wave, 4‐week longitudinal design.…”

“…Perfectionistic concerns are a constellation of personality traits, including perceptions that others are placing unrealistic demands on you, undue concern over mistakes, doubts about getting things “right,” and harsh self‐criticism. Unsurprisingly, perfectionistic concerns tend to be a maladaptive personality trait associated with decreased well‐being (Sherry et al, ). Perfectionistic strivings involve high personal standards and demanding perfection of oneself.…”

“…Other‐oriented perfectionism involves demanding perfection of others, and it is more closely related to narcissism (Nealis et al, ). Though we acknowledge the important debate surrounding the potential adaptiveness of perfectionistic strivings (Stoeber & Otto, ), as well as the growing literature examining other‐oriented perfectionism (Nealis et al, ), the present study focuses on perfectionistic concerns based on evidence suggesting perfectionistic concerns are a robust correlate of well‐being and on theory highlighting their role in generating social negativity (Sherry et al, ).…”

Multidimensional perfectionism and assortative mating: A perfect date?

“…Furthermore, research on the social disconnection model of perfectionism (Hewitt et al, 2006;Sherry et al, in press) suggests that all three forms of perfectionism lead to social disconnection (e.g., loneliness, isolation, alienation) because perfectionists show beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors that are interpersonally dysfunctional.…”