Parents’ Retrospective Storytelling of Their Child’s Coming Out: Investigating Contributions of Communicated Perspective-Taking in Relation to Well-Being

A communication and identity process that mediates parents’ nonaccommodation and sexual minorities’ mental well-being

“…First, the results extend CAT and SM research (e.g., Butauski & Horstman, 2020;Kibrik et al, 2019) by establishing negative associations between perceptions of both mother's and father's nonaccommodative messages and SMs' mental well-being. When parents engage in nonaccommodation within their SM children, such as singling them out for their identity, emphasizing distinctions in their beliefs related to sexual orientation, or trying to control how they express it, such behaviors are likely to undermine the child's mental health and diminish self-esteem.…”

“…For instance, sexual orientation is a central social identity for many people (Hajek et al, 2005), and “relationships between [family] members with different sexual identities are, by definition, intergroup in nature” (Soliz et al, 2010, p. 80). The disclosure of a child’s non-heterosexual identity adds a new dimension to family relationships in general (Mosher, 2001), and to parent-child relationships specifically (Butauski & Horstman, 2020), as sexual minorities (SMs) face multiple challenges in family relationships and communication after coming out (Dunlap, 2014; Norwood, 2012; Nuru, 2014), often taxing their mental health (Meyer, 2003).…”

“…Although many of the behaviors enacted by family members of SMs may emphasize identity differences and neglect SMs’ communication needs (Kibrik et al, 2019), few studies have made the theoretical link to communication nonaccommodation , defined as “communication behavior that is perceived or experienced as inappropriately adjusted by one or more people in a conversation” (Soliz et al, 2022, p. 133). Further, most research on SMs and family communication has focused primarily on the disclosure event of “coming out” itself (e.g., Butauski & Horstman, 2020), yet parents and children often deal with more than the initial disclosure of sexual identity (Flockhart, 2019; see also Breshears, 2010). Rather than focus on broad definitions of parental rejection or the specific “coming-out” event, this study examined how parental nonaccommodation behaviors about their adult child’s sexual identity are related to the child’s mental well-being.…”

Parental acceptance of lesbian, gay, and bisexual children in Taiwan: Towards relationship‐based practice

“…Participants repeatedly emphasized that the realization that nothing mattered more to them than seeing their child have a happy life led them to fully accept their child's LGB identity. This step toward acceptance is unique to parents who expressed commitment to love their child (Butauski & Horstman, 2020; Samarova et al, 2014) and do so unconditionally (Bertone & Franchi, 2014; Carastathis et al, 2017; Rosenkrantz et al, 2020). Further examination revealed that progression toward supporting their child's LGB identity occurred through a healthy parent–child relationship characterized by a balance of cohesion, closeness, and independence.…”

An overview of coming out research: Introducing a three‐lens typology

“…Within the context of the family, most attention has been given the parent‐child relationship. Researchers explored LGBTQ+ youth's 30 experiences of coming out to their parents —both, from the perspective of the child (e.g., Cramer & Roach, 1988; Enck et al., 1984; Potoczniak et al., 2009; Rossi, 2010; Savin‐Williams, 1989; Švab, 2016) and parent (e.g., Alpaslan et al., 2014; Butauski & Horstman, 2020; Mirkovic & Jerkovic, 2021)—and explored parents' reactions and acceptance development of their child's coming out (e.g., Cassar & Sultana, 2021; Chrisler, 2017; Drumm et al., 2021; Goodrich & Ginicola, 2017; Jaspal, 2020; Mayeza, 2021; Pullen Sansfaçon et al., 2020; van Bergen et al., 2020). Acceptance development and similar terms such as ‘family adjustment’ or ‘acceptance journey’ refer to findings that suggest that despite common parental reactions of shock, surprise, confusion, and stress (Ghosh, 2020) that can lead to negative consequences for the disclosing individual, 31 initial negative parental reactions can develop into acceptance and support.…”