Parents have lives, too!

Abstract

The ability to tell one’s own, culturally valid life story emerges in adolescence — the process that has been metaphorically termed “getting a life”. Between early adolescence and the verge of adulthood, autobiographical stories gain broader temporal perspectives and show greater complexity. But do adolescents use the same narrative story structure when talking about their close ones, such as their parents? We analysed 348 texts written by adolescents and early adults concerning their parents. We demonstrated that, with age, communication changes from a descriptive, present tense format to complex life stories. We used specific indicators of narrative form: text structure, intentionality, temporal perspective, and point of view. Results indicate that early adults are more likely than are younger individuals to use narrative structure and content in their communication. We conclude that, by the end of adolescence, parents are increasingly given their own life stories in the voices of their children.

Parents' traces in life: When and how parents are presented in spontaneous life narratives

“…As a result, adolescents and early adults begin to consider parental perspectives and motives for certain actions and decisions more, and to express understanding of parents (Labouvie-Vief, Diehl, Chiodo, & Coyle, 1995;McLean, 2015). The most mature level of understanding of parents is to perceive parents beyond their nurturing roles as individuals with their own life stories and emotions, which develops up to middle adulthood (Budziszewska & Pietrzak, 2016;Labouvie-Vief et al, 1995) but seems to vary in older adulthood. While one study comparing narratives about parents of emerging, middle-aged, and older adults found understanding of parents to increase until late adulthood (Budziszewska & Dryll, 2012), Labouvie-Vief and colleagues (1995) found in older adulthood a decrease of understanding of parents.…”

“…Thus, it is surprising that individuals' presentation of parents in life narratives, which reflect personality development and narrative identity (Habermas & Bluck, 2000;McAdams, 2013), has not yet been explored. Although research recently turned to narratives about parents (Budziszewska, 2009;Budziszewska & Dryll, 2012;Budziszewska & Pietrzak, 2016;McLean, 2015), it is not known whether and how people integrate their parents in their life narratives when not explicitly asked to do so. The spontaneous inclusion of parents in life narratives, however, may reveal the extent to which people admit the significance of their parents in their narrated life, that is, in their narrative identity, which is why this study explored longitudinally in a life span sample the traces of parents in spontaneous life narratives.…”

The longitudinal influence of parenting and parents’ traces on narrative identity in young adulthood.

“…Prospective studies asking the participants specifically for experiences with their parents (cf. Arnold et al, 2004; Budziszewska & Dryll, 2012; Budziszewska & Pietrzak, 2016) might be more appropriate to determine the long-term consequences of positive parenting on understanding of parents and the responsiveness to parent voice in adulthood.…”

“…In each narrative in which father, mother, or parents were mentioned, we rated individual's understanding of parents' acts, feelings, and opinions on a 4-point rating scale. This measure indicates whether participants integrate in the narratives their parents' perspectives and thus describe cognitions, emotions, and intentions apart from their own (Budziszewska & Pietrzak, 2016). Importantly, understanding of parents does not require the participants' agreement to the parents' internal experience, but the awareness and the effort to infer and consider parental mental states when describing experiences with parents.…”

“…Therefore, while exploring identity domains, emerging adults reflect on their received parenting and on their parents’ lives to clarify their own sense of who they are and how they want to live (Arnett, 2014). At the same time, emerging adults grow into a more mature and reciprocal relationship with parents (Budziszewska & Pietrzak, 2016; Labouvie-Vief et al, 1995). The gradual assumption of adult responsibilities prompts emerging adults to perceive their parents no longer merely as parents, but also as individuals in their own right (Arnett, 2014).…”