Moving from Ambivalence to Certainty: Older Same-Sex Couples Marry in Canada

Abstract

A qualitative study, within a life course perspective, explored the transition into marriage for mid- to later-life same-sex couples. Twenty individuals (representing 11 couples) were interviewed - 12 lesbians, seven gay men, and one bisexual man. At the time of their marriages, participants were between 42 and 72 years old (average age: 54) and had been with their partners from six months to 19 years (average: 7.5 years). Three processes highlighted the ways in which these same-sex couples' experiences of deciding to marry were influenced by their life course experiences. First, individuals had to integrate marriage into their psyches (integration). Second, they had to consider why they would marry their specific partner (rationale). Third, the study participants demonstrated how their experiences of wedding planning and their wedding characteristics were imbued with intentionality as a result of lifetime experiences of homophobia and/or heterosexism (intentionality).

Exploring Ambivalence in Family Ties: Progress and Prospects

“…An impressive array of publications has applied ambivalence to family ties (Katz, Lowenstein, Phillips, & Daatland, 2005;Pillemer & Lüscher, 2004); intergenerational relations (Igarashi, Hooker, Coehlo, & Manoogian, 2013;Lüscher, 2011Lüscher, , 2013Pillemer et al, 2007;Prinzen, 2012;Spitze & Gallant, 2004;Ward, 2008;Willson, Shuey, Elder, & Wickrama, 2006), including those of in-laws (Merrill, 2007;Peters, Hooker, & Zvonkovic, 2006) and grandparents (Ko, 2012;Sun, 2012;; gay and lesbian family ties (Cohler, 2004;Connidis, 2003a;Humble, 2013); kin ties of single mothers (Sarkisian, 2006); sibling ties (Bedford & Avioli, 2012), including comparisons with parent-child ties (Fingerman, Hay, & Birditt, 2004); cross-generational responses to divorce (Connidis, 2003b;Moore, Timonen, O'Dwyer, & Doyle, 2012); fatherhood and masculinity (Magaraggia, 2012); and women at midlife (Mandell, Wilson, & Duffy, 2008).…”

The Families ofLGBTQOlder Adults: Theoretical Approaches to Creative Family Connections in the Context of Marginalization,Social‐HistoricalChange, and Resilience

“…Now that unprecedented numbers of LGBTQ older adults are maturing into their later years, with greater options for intentional and legally recognized family ties, the historical assumption that LGBTQ older adults are disconnected from their family of origin is being challenged (Humble, ; Orel & Fruhauf, ). Some current literature reveals the value of all types of family connections for LGBTQ older adults—not just families of choice.…”

“…In another deliberate example of integrating theory and method, Humble () framed her study around the life course perspective, highlighting agency and historical time as key concepts to understand the contemporary political landscape of legitimating same‐sex marriage and the transition to marriage for older same‐sex couples in Canada. In concert with the life course perspective that framed the study, Humble transparently theorized the methodological strategy she used, identifying that she was working in the social constructionist and interpretivist qualitative research paradigm (Daly, ) during the data analysis process.…”

Secular Weddings in Canada: An Examination of a Humanist Response to the Evolution of Marriage

“…While some people do marry for religious or social reasons, the "Canadian experiment" of reduced legal support for such unions in an increasingly secular population has not falsified Cherlin's (1981) dictum that most people would eventually marry. While some heterosexual couples may choose to never marry, same-sex marriages have become increasingly common (Humble, 2013;Kimport, 2014). As Cherlin (2005) subsequently noted, "Marriage has not faded away.…”