Just Say No? The Use of Conversation Analysis in Developing a Feminist Perspective on Sexual Refusal

Abstract

This article aims to show the value of conversation analysis for feminist theory and practice around refusal skills training and date rape prevention. Conversation analysis shows that refusals are complex conversational interactions, incorporating delays, prefaces, palliatives, and accounts. Refusal skills training often ignores and overrides these with its simplistic prescription to `just say no'. It should not in fact be necessary for a woman to say `no' in order for her to be understood as refusing sex. We draw on our own data to suggest that young women are able explicitly to articulate a sophisticated awareness of these culturally normative ways of indicating refusal, and we suggest that insistence upon `just say no' may be counterproductive insofar as it implies that other ways of doing refusals (e.g. with silences, compliments, or even weak acceptances) are open to reasonable doubt. Finally we discuss the implications of our use of conversation analysis for feminist psychology, both in relation to date rape and more generally.

What constitutes a “reasonable belief” in consent to sex? A thematic analysis

“…The means of conveying consent or refusal mentioned by these participants are similar to previous findings (e.g. Beres, 2010;O'Byrne et al, 2006) that have demonstrated that non-verbal communication of consent and refusal is well understood by both young men and young women (Kitzinger & Frith, 1999;O'Byrne et al, 2006;O'Byrne et al, 2008). However, they also recognise that other people might read more into these behaviours (see 'Interpreting Consent' theme, below), and they also went on to emphasise the importance to them of verbal consent and refusal.…”

“…As noted above, sexual consent can be seen as a process (Hall, 1999) and consent can be communicated effectively both verbally and non-verbally (Beres, 2010;Hickman & Muehlenhard, 1999;Kitzinger & Frith, 1999 women are blamed for their sexual victimisation. This is not reflected by participants in the present study who maintained the view that a verbal refusal would be the best way to be clear about sexual refusal, and suggests they would see a verbal form of refusal as important if they were required to assess whether or not a rape complainant had consented.…”

“…It is well established that sexual consent or refusal may be undertaken verbally and non-verbally, and that very subtle indicators are used and understood by both men and women (Beres, 2010;Beres, Herold & Maitland, 2004;Kitzinger & Frith, 1999;O'Byrne, Hansen & Rapley, 2008;O'Byrne, et al, 2006), even in casual sexual relationships (Beres, 2010). In his sample of US college students, Hall (1998) found that consent was most frequently communicated non-verbally, and that consent is usually not specifically given for individual sexual acts that are part of an ongoing sequence.…”

“…Kitzinger and Frith (1999) reported the often indirect nature of women's sexual refusal, and also highlighted that social conventions mean that people rarely 'just say no' to any kind of an invitation, including (but not only) unwanted sex. Developing this idea, O'Byrne et al (2006) demonstrated that young men are able to perceive women's refusals, including verbal refusals that do not contain the word 'no', and also other more subtle non-verbal refusals.…”

“…Previous qualitative research has examined how sexual consent is negotiated in personal relationships (Beres, 2010;Kitzinger & Frith, 1999;O'Byrne, Rapley, & Hansen, 2006). Quasi-experimental studies have also identified various victim, offender and offence characteristics that may influence perceptions of consent and verdicts in rape scenarios (e.g.…”