“I Hated Her Guts!”: Emerging Adults’ Recollections of the Formation, Maintenance, and Termination of Antipathetic Relationships During High School

Abstract

Antipathetic relationships have received little empirical attention. This study examines these relationships by eliciting college students' descriptions of the formation, patterns of interpersonal behaviors, and termination of antipathetic relationships during high school. Factors that differentiate inimical from other antipathetic relationships are also investigated. The Interview of Friendship and Antipathetic Experiences, a semistructured retrospective interview of high school relationships, was administered to 80 college undergraduate students (69% female, M age = 19.1 years). Quantitative analyses, supplemented by illustrative quotes, indicate that antipathetic relationships, relative to friendships or interactions with neutral peers, were marked by conflict during formation and aggression and avoidance during the relationship. Inimical relationships were differentiated from other antipathetic relationships by greater conflict in their formation, open expression of dislike, and aggression.

“We Were Best Friends, But . . . ”: Two Studies of Antipathetic Relationships Emerging From Broken Friendships

“…As reported in Card (2007), results indicated that antipathetic relationships are quite common: 75% of participants identified a particular peer that they disliked or considered an enemy during high school. Of the 60 participants who reported experiencing an antipathetic relationship in high school, 43% were formerly friends.…”

“…Antipathetic relationships have been speculated to form for a wide variety of reasons, such as competition for limited resources, personality clashes, and broken friendships (Abecassis, 2003;Wiseman & Duck, 1995). There is also evidence that these relationships often contain conflict during the formation, and aggression and avoidance during their course (Card, 2007). The current study extends these possibilities by considering the unique aspects of the formation and course of antipathetic relationships that emerge from broken friendships.…”

Forgiveness and its determinants depending on the interpersonal context of hurt

“…In addition to revenge, the context of animosity is likely to foster avoidance motivation. For instance, college students report that avoidance is one of the most common ways of dealing with a disliked peer (Card, 2007).…”

Victimization Within Mutually Antipathetic Peer Relationships

“…In contrast to friendships, however, these are relationships in which each individual dislikes the other. The exact nature of this dislike varies across conceptualizations and the few studies that have examined these relationships, ranging from mere aversion (e.g., someone the child does not like to work or play with) to more intense disliking (e.g., enmity, hatred; see Abecassis, 2003; Hartup, 2003), and further research examining the meaningful distinctions that individuals make among their antipathetic relationships is needed (see Card, 2007). Nevertheless, it has been argued that (at least some) antipathetic relationships are marked by an intense, personal form of rejection with distinct patterns of interactions and unique developmental risks beyond those associated with group‐level (unilateral) rejection (see Abecassis, Hartup, Haselager, Scholte, & Van Lieshout, 2002; Hartup & Abecassis, 2002; Schwartz, Hopmeyer Gorman, Toblin, & Abouezzedine, 2003; cf.…”