“How Many Silences Are There?” Men’s Experience of Victimization in Intimate Partner Relationships

Abstract

There is a substantive body of research focusing on women's experiences of intimate partner violence (IPV), but a lack of qualitative studies focusing on men's experiences as victims of IPV. This article addresses this gap in the literature by paying particular attention to hegemonic masculinities and men's perceptions of IPV. Men ( N = 9) participated in in-depth interviews. Interview data were rigorously subjected to thematic analysis, which revealed five key themes in the men's narratives: fear of IPV, maintaining power and control, victimization as a forbidden narrative, critical understanding of IPV, and breaking the silence. Although the men share similar stories of victimization as women, the way this is influenced by their gendered histories is different. While some men reveal a willingness to disclose their victimization and share similar fear to women victims, others reframe their victim status in a way that sustains their own power and control. The men also draw attention to the contextual realities that frame abuse, including histories of violence against the women who used violence and the realities of communities suffering intergenerational affects of colonized histories. The findings reinforce the importance of in-depth qualitative work toward revealing the context of violence, understanding the impact of fear, victimization, and power/control on men's mental health as well as the outcome of legal and support services and lack thereof. A critical discussion regarding the gendered context of violence, power within relationships, and addressing men's need for support without redefining victimization or taking away from policies and support for women's ongoing victimization concludes the work.

A Qualitative Study of the Male Victims’ Experiences With the Criminal Justice Response to Intimate Partner Abuse in Four English-Speaking Countries

“…Other concerns expressed by men that kept them from calling the police in cases of IPA were fears about the well-being of children affected by the arrest, financial issues, partner’s threats to destroy men’s lives, prior negative experiences with seeking help with the police, and other practical concerns. This is consistent with Brooks et al’s (2017) study that found limitations utilizing only a masculinity framework when explaining the complex experiences of male victims of IPA. Moreover, these barriers to help-seeking expressed by men in our study are similar to those reported by female victims of IPA (e.g., Scheffer Lindgren & Renck, 2008), which suggests the practical concerns associated with being a victim are likely shared across genders.…”

“…A few men reported it would be unmanly to show injuries to the police and succumb to the role of a victim from the female partner. Prior research of gendered reactions to violence victimization had similar results (e.g., Brooks et al, 2017). These were not the only concerns that men expressed.…”

“…Male victims in our study reported revictimization by the CJS’s responses they received. These men—and other men in similar circumstances who may come to know about their experiences—will be reluctant to seek help from the CJS in the future, which will reenact “the forbidden narrative” of men’s victimization (Brooks et al, 2017). Ignoring male victimization due to the gender-based paradigm of IPA may trigger a sense of community among victimized men, that is, that the CJS does not just mistreat them individually, but against men as a class.…”

“…Expanding upon the gender paradigm, masculine gender socialization theories have highlighted the role that masculine ideologies play in creating internal (e.g., shame, self-blame) and external (limited available services, professional gender bias) barriers to men’s help-seeking (Mansfield et al, 2003). Recent studies have highlighted that men are reluctant to label themselves as victims of female aggression, in line with hegemonic norms, with men reporting feelings of vulnerability, shame, powerlessness, and fear of being seen as “weak,” “not masculine,” or “unmanly” (Brooks et al, 2017; Machado et al, 2016).…”

Experiences of Physical and Psychological Violence Against Male Victims in Canada: A Qualitative Study

“…However, hegemonic masculinities are not a fixed character type but a configuration of practices generated in particular situations in a changing structure of relationships (Connell, 2005). Hegemonic masculinity tends to involve a high degree of ruthless competition, an inability to express emotions other than anger, an unwillingness to admit weakness or dependency, devaluation of women and all feminine attributes in men, and homophobia, among other features (Brooks et al, 2020; Kupers, 2005). Thus, it is possible to argue that hegemonic masculinity is socially constructed in a manner that orients men’s perception of feeling vulnerable towards denying or suppressing their feelings.…”