‘Helpin’ a buddy out’: Perceptions of identity and behaviour among rural straight men that have sex with each other

Abstract

I conducted semi-structured interviews with ten American rural, white, straight-identified men who have sex with men to understand how they perceive their sexual identity and sexual behaviour. All ten tell other people that they identify as straight, and eight actually identify as straight. I detail three main themes: changes to sexual attractions, reasons for identifying as straight, and the meanings attached to sexual behaviour with other men. Half of the participants reported experiencing major changes to their sexual attractions, challenging the assumption that male sexuality is static. They described several reasons for identifying as straight, demonstrating that attractions and behaviour are not the only bases for sexual identity. The participants also explained that they experience sex with men in a variety of ways, many of which reinforce their straight identity. The results indicate that heterosexuality is a performance, rather than a natural expression of sexuality, and that interpretations-not just attractions and behaviour-are central to being straight.

Straight white American college students’ attitudes toward a self-identified straight, not gay or gay man who has sex with men: incongruent sexual orientation identity diminishes perceived psychological health

“…Young people do not immediately coordinate sexual behaviours, attractions, desires and/or identity, and may find available SOIs unappealing (Igartua, Thombs, & Burgos, 2009;Morgan et al, 2010;SavinWilliams, 2001;Worthington et al, 2002), taking on new ones: queer, questioning, fluid, open (Vary, 2006). The same lack of coordination may be present for older MSM even after extensive homosexual experiences (Martinez & Hosek, 2005;Silva, 2015), though others with similar experiences identify as gay or bisexual (Dubé, 2000). Some MSM (Martinez & Hosek, 2005) and sex researchers (Savin- Williams, 2001) suggest dropping SOIs as unimportant or uninformative about sexual orientation.…”

“…Using words to mean their connotations but not their denotation can lead to words becoming meaningless, or changing in their denotation if accepted by enough language users. The changed denotation of 'straight' to mean a masculine man who does not identify with 'gay culture', does identify with normative 'straight' culture, and just wants to have unencumbered sex with men (without defining himself in relation to that) is accepted by some MSM (Carrillo & Fontdevila, 2014;Kendall, Herrera, Caballero, & Campero, 2007;Murray, 2000;Silva, 2015;Ward, 2015), many of whom also have (and desire) sex with women (and thus are MSMW). But incongruent selfidentification (Bruinius, 2015;Kroeger, 2003) can be questioned if made public.…”

“…Indeed, non-gay-identifying MSM equate 'gay' with effeminate and 'not gay' and 'straight' with masculine (Reynolds, 2015;Robinson & Vidal-Ortiz, 2013;Silva, 2015;Ward, 2015).…”

“…Some researchers and therapists perceive these men as having psychological problems (Cabaj, 2009;Higgins, 2006;Wester, 2008), whereas others accept their straight identity (Kort with Morgan, 2014;Silva, 2015;Ward, 2015). MSM may find it confusing or unnecessary to define themselves (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1977;Murray, 2000), feel it easier or preferable to identify as heterosexual or as 'not gay' than to identify as gay or bisexual (Baldwin et al, 2015;Han, Rutledge, Bond, Lauby, & LaPollo, 2014), or define themselves based on part of their sexuality, e.g., their romantic same-sex sexual fantasies and behaviours, demonstrates a consistent same-sex erotic desire and is always romantically oriented towards men.…”

Aligning Our Maps: A Call to Reconcile Distinct Visions of Literatures on Sexualities, Space, and Place

“…Indeed, the lesbian, bisexual, and queer women I have studied tell me that they struggle to find themselves in literatures that highlight places like Chicago's Boystown or Philadelphia's Gayborhood. As others’ research tells us, this sense of (near) invisibility in the literature is likely shared by many sexual minorities of color and transgender individuals (Doan , ; Hunter ; Moore ; Rosenberg ).…”