Halal Dating and Norwegian Youth Culture

Abstract

Through conversations with Norwegian youth of Muslim background, this article explores how such young people negotiate religious identity, intimacy and sexuality within Norwegian youth culture. In light of recent statistics on marriage patterns in Norway, it further investigates norms and approaches significant to these youths’ choices. Marriage and intimate relationships are central to how this study’s participants connect the expectations of their minority background with the norms of Norwegian society. Some choose to engage in informal religious marriages—such as “halal dating”—while others are in love relationships and define for themselves the boundaries of what is and is not allowed.

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“…At the same time, Muslim students who were liberal about dating and interacting with the opposite sex were also frowned upon by Muslim peers, which amounted to a form of peer surveillance and social control. For them, endorsing romantic relationships also involved continued efforts to preserve secrecy from some Muslim peers and more importantly, parents (see also Bøe, 2018;Cense, 2014). Dating through mediation by parents or reliable adults to get to know someone intimately exemplifies one of the strategies to pursue romance in a 'safe' and religiously sanctioned manner, and it highlights how diverse and fluid these strategies can look.…”

“…Hence, desires and passions, even when dictated by biological drives, needed to be suppressed to avoid actions that would eventually bring a sense of guilt or shame. Men appeared to have more freedom with their sexuality, while the moral regulation of sexuality was enforced more for women, with any transgression seen as bringing shame upon the family and the community (Bøe, 2018;Cense, 2014). Negative judgment by the family and the community, as well as God, was brought up in this context.…”

“…Although there is much diversity in the interpretation of Islamic texts, marriage offers the only legitimate framework for the expression of sexuality (Ahmed & Ezzeddine, 2009;Bøe, 2018). Various texts, including the Qur'an, underscore that premarital and extramarital sex are haram [forbidden].…”

“…At home they behave like dutiful daughters and sons in alignment with familial and religious codes, but in other settings they lead a different life. Studies have also revealed that young Muslims' sexualities are under-acknowledged by their parents due to parental denial and/or due to the fact that young Muslims conceal their sexual relationships from their parents (Bøe, 2018;Griffiths et al, 2010). Although some young people are comfortable with such double lives and are able to make a switch between the two easily, others feel alienated by inhabiting different identities in different worlds, and report guilt feelings, fear of being caught, or remorse (Cense, 2014).…”

“…The fourth strategy entails integration of different values to combine different elements of familial, cultural and religious influences, showing their connectedness with different social groups, and navigating divergent expectations. Bøe's (2018) study with Norwegian Muslim youth identified halal dating as a common strategy to reconcile religion and sexuality. This refers to informal and religious marriage (mostly around the ages of 19 or 20) to be together and sexually intimate in a religiously sanctioned way.…”