For Shame: Feminism, Breastfeeding Advocacy, and Maternal Guilt

Abstract

In this paper, we provide a new framework for understanding infant‐feeding‐related maternal guilt and shame, placing these in the context of feminist theoretical and psychological accounts of the emotions of self‐assessment. Whereas breastfeeding advocacy has been critiqued for its perceived role in inducing maternal guilt, we argue that the emotion women often feel surrounding infant feeding may be better conceptualized as shame in its tendency to involve a negative self‐assessment—a failure to achieve an idealized notion of good motherhood. Further, we suggest, both formula‐feeding and breastfeeding mothers experience shame: the former report feeling that they fail to live up to ideals of womanhood and motherhood, and the latter transgress cultural expectations regarding feminine modesty. The problem, then, is the degree to which mothers are vulnerable to shame generally, regardless of infant feeding practices. As an emotion that is less adaptive and potentially more damaging than guilt, shame ought to be the focus of resistance for both feminists and breastfeeding advocates, who need to work in conjunction with women to oppose this shame by assisting them in constructing their own ideals of good motherhood that incorporate a sense of self‐concern.

Socially sensitive lactation: Exploring the social context of breastfeeding

“…As Hannah said in her second interview: 'You sort of feel more, if people are sitting here watching me struggling, are they thinking that I'm failing him?' That women might feel a sense of shame in front of others for struggling to breastfeed has been suggested by feminist theorists who have noted the way in which ideologies of 'good mothering' can position women who struggle to breastfeed as unnatural or deficient as women (Taylor & Wallace, 2012;Wall, 2001). A few of the women outlined a more Goffmanesque understanding of the importance of a credible and confident performance of breastfeeding in order to assert the acceptability of breastfeeding in public spaces:…”

“…Whilst the promotion of breast as 'best' can contribute to women feeling guilty and ashamed if they do not breastfeed (Mozingo, Davis, Droppelman, & Meredith, 2000;Taylor & Wallace, 2012), fathers can feel some discomfort where their partners do breastfeed and they are hence excluded from feeding whilst otherwise being exhorted to be 'involved fathers' (Barclay & Lupton, 1999). A further source of contradiction is the often perceived taboo on breastfeeding in public, due in part to the sexualisation of the breast in Western societies (Dowling, Naidoo, & Pontin, 2012;Stearns, 1999).…”

Understanding Mothers’ Infant Feeding Decisions and Practices

“…Lee suggests that as breastfeeding has been constructed as an integral part of 'good' mothering for some women, the use of formula milk is understood as a failure, rather than a pragmatic action (Lee 2011a(Lee , p. 1066. Similarly, Taylor and Ebert (2012) have argued that women's feelings when breastfeeding is not successful are connected to the failure to meet idealized notions of motherhood. The gap between public health promotion and women's experiences adds weight to the recommendation that those promoting breastfeeding should try to roll back the moralization of infant feeding and, more broadly, that the politicization of parenting needs to be undone (Lee et al 2010).…”

Configuring Maternal, Preborn and Infant Embodiment

“…For many women, the physical sensations of breastfeeding, such as the tingling of the let-down experience when the milk begins to flow and the tendency in the early weeks for breasts to leak uncontrollably at times, even if the baby is not actually in the same physical space as the mother, can be a strange loss of control over the body, this time conceptualised as one's 'maternal hormones' taking charge of one's body/self. Breastfeeding mothers may also feel highly self-conscious and ashamed in public because of the disapproval extended to them by some onlookers who feel as if they should not be exposing their breasts publicly (Taylor and Wallace 2012).…”

“…If an infant fails to accept breastfeeding easily, many women see it as hostile, frustrating their own desire to achieve the ideal of breastfeeding. They may feel strong emotions of anger, shame, guilt and disappointment, some of which may be directed at their infant (see also Crossley 2009;Lee 2007;Ryan et al 2011;Taylor and Wallace 2012). For many women, the physical sensations of breastfeeding, such as the tingling of the let-down experience when the milk begins to flow and the tendency in the early weeks for breasts to leak uncontrollably at times, even if the baby is not actually in the same physical space as the mother, can be a strange loss of control over the body, this time conceptualised as one's 'maternal hormones' taking charge of one's body/self.…”