Does Sex Really Matter? Examining the Connections Between Spouses’ Nonsexual Behaviors, Sexual Frequency, Sexual Satisfaction, and Marital Satisfaction

Abstract

We examined the interplay between husbands' and wives' positive and negative nonsexual interpersonal behaviors, frequency of sexual intercourse, sexual satisfaction, and feelings of marital satisfaction. To do this, we conducted an in-depth face-to-face interview and completed a series of telephone diaries with 105 couples during their second, third, and fourteenth years of marriage. Consistent with the argument that women's sexual response is tied to intimacy (Basson, 2000), multilevel analyses revealed that husbands' positive interpersonal behaviors directed toward their wives-but not wives' positivity nor spouses' negative behaviors (regardless of gender)-predicted the frequency with which couples engaged in intercourse. The frequency of sexual intercourse and interpersonal negativity predicted both husbands' and wives' sexual satisfaction; wives' positive behaviors were also tied to husbands' sexual satisfaction. When spouses' interpersonal behaviors, frequency of sexual intercourse, and sexual satisfaction were considered in tandem, all but the frequency of sexual intercourse were associated with marital satisfaction. When it comes to feelings of marital satisfaction, therefore, a satisfying sex life and a warm interpersonal climate appear to matter more than does a greater frequency of sexual intercourse. Collectively, these findings shed much-needed light on the interplay between the nonsexual interpersonal climate of marriage and spouses' sexual relationships.

La frecuencia de las actividades sexuales como variable mediadora de la satisfacción sexual en mujeres jóvenes. (Frequency of sexual activities as a mediator of sexual satisfaction among young women.)

“…On the other hand, our findings coincide with previous empirical evidence indicating that sexual frequency predicts sexual satisfaction (e.g., Blair & Pukall, 2014;Greeley 1991, cited in Christopher & Sprecher, 2000Haavio-Manila & Kontula, 1997;Laumann, Gagnon, Michael & Michaels, 1994;Muise et al, 2014;Schoenfeld et al, 2016).…”

“…Numerous studies have demonstrated the relationship between a satisfactory sexual life and higher ability to love, satisfaction and adjustment in intimate relationships, selfesteem, physical and mental health, quality of life, emotional satisfaction, happiness, and satisfaction with life (e.g., Stephenson & Sullivan, 2009;Carrobles, Gámez-Guadix & Almendros, 2011). The impact that sexual satisfaction has on all these well-being-related variables justifies research aimed at establishing its determinants, such as communication with the partner (Babin, 2012;Montesi et al, 2013), attachment styles and/or insecurity (Brassard, Dupuy, Bergeron & Shaver, 2015;Stephenson & Sullivan, 2009), and sexual frequency (Muise, Giang & Impett, 2014;Schoenfeld, Loving, Pope, Huston & Štulhofer, 2016), among others.…”

The neural and genetic correlates of satisfying sexual activity in heterosexual pair‐bonds

“…Consistent with these views, herein we showed that the strength of activation in brain structures that modulate reward and bonding behaviors (VP, VTA, and SN), in response to a partner's face image, varied as a function of Avpr and Oxtr genotypes, perhaps explaining variation in the expression of pair‐bonding and mating strategies. The present findings also lend some clarity to previous research showing that greater sexual frequency was associated with enhanced relationship satisfaction in only some couples (Brody et al, ; Loewenstein et al, ; McNulty et al, ; Schoenfeld et al, ). Thus, we suggest that behavioral changes (i.e., increases in sexual frequency) may result in particularly strong benefits for individuals/couples with the Oxtr and Avpr genotype variants associated with pair‐bonding and complex social behaviors.…”

“…Sexual frequency advantages have been harder to discern (Schoenfeld, Loving, Pope, Huston, & Štulhofer, 2017). For example, McNulty, Wenner, and Fisher (2016) examined 207 married couples over 4-years and found that sexual frequency did not predict increases or changes in self-reported marital satisfaction over time.…”

Surveys indicate a decline in sex among young adults in Britain

“…Also, the German Family Panel study showed increasing sexual satisfaction in the first year of a relationship followed by a steady decline, even when controlling for the frequency of intercourse 10. Finally, when it comes to feelings of marital contentment , a satisfying sex life and a warm interpersonal climate were shown to matter more than a greater frequency of sexual intercourse 11. Quantity and quality of sexual activity are not necessarily connected.…”