“Do Me Please, She Won't”: An Examination of Personal Ads Posted by Married Men Seeking Sex from Other Men

Abstract

Advances in technology have created new ways for individuals to find partners through personal ads seeking casual sexual encounters. This article examines self-identified married men who are seeking sexual encounters through placement of a men seeking men personal ad found on a free non-sexual large mainstream classified website. Three thousand advertisements were analyzed to reveal patterns among advertisements including items such as sexual act desired, sexual roles desired, race, and age. The results reveal that married men are seeking out different types of sexual encounters than men who do not identify themselves as married, desiring encounters more often during lunch, seeking out drug and disease free partners, desiring safe sex, and being more likely to desire a top or versatile sex role.The Internet is changing the way in which individuals seek out potential mates. Dating websites are popular with sites such as eHarmony and match.com boasting memberships in the millions and has become a widely accepted means of finding a long-term partner. It has also become a way in which to arrange for one-time hook-ups, where individuals meet up for no strings attached sexual activity, including kissing, oral sex, and intercourse. This is particularly popular in the college environment where navigating dating and sex is facilitated through a hook-up culture (Bogle 2008). One area not explored by Bogle, however, was the homosexual hookup, whether it be men seeking men or women seeking women. Additionally, as noted by Tewksbury (2003) personal advertisements are also a popular way to seek out partners for men seeking to engage in no-strings-attached sexual encounters with other men. Traditionally, men who wanted to engage in sex with other men in secret would cruise for sex in particular public places or seek out areas known as erotic oases