Dear Ms. X,During my internship, especially last week, I was confronted with the fact that my classroom management problems for a large part are connected to the way I am as a person. By nature, I am very conflict avoidant. I do not like arguments (I cannot remember the last time I had an argument, even with my girlfriend), I always search for the positive and try to keep things peaceful. I know this about myself.What I have noticed is that I find it very difficult to adjust my behavior when I am in front of the class. I must not be myself at that moment, but have to act according to my role as a teacher.I can implement small corrections, but what I really have to learn is to correct in a big way, as a part of my role as a teacher. Every time when I have to act like that I notice something in me revolts.The question you could ask of course is: Why is something in me revolting? Is it being afraid of being disliked? Maybe, but I also think it has to do with the question that always rises whether my correction/(played out) anger is justified at the moment.
Do you recognize the problem of conflict management (it wouldn't surprise me if it did) and do you have suggestions for me how to deal with it?Regards, JohnFor John, a student teacher in a 1-year, post-master, teacher education program at a Dutch research university, development as a teacher is hard. He encounters problems in his teaching practice that he relates to perceived personal characteristics. He notices that how he sees himself does not correspond with what he thinks being a teacher means or should mean. He reflects on what he needs to learn and wonders why he finds showing particular behavior difficult.This original email illustrates a student teacher's thinking about his teacher identity, that is his "image-of-self-as-teacher" (Beijaard & Meijer, 2017), which generally