Bereavement Care: One Children's Hospital's Compassionate Plan for Parents and Families

The Parental Experience of Unexpectedly Losing a Child in the Pediatric Emergency Department

“…Death in childhood goes against the natural order of life, as the young are supposed to outlive the old, and parents do not expect to outlive their children (Bogensperger & Lueger-Schuster, 2014;Garstang et al, 2014). But it is more than just the loss of a person, rather it is the loss of all the hopes and dreams attached to the child, like graduations, weddings, and children of their own (Bucaro, Asher, & Curry, 2005;Woodgate, 2006). And the death of a child requires a restructuring of the parent-child relationship, moving from an external, physical relationship to a more internal one based on honoring and cherishing memories of the child (Meert, Thurston, & Briller, 2005;Proulx et al, 2015;Truog, Meyer, & Burns, 2006a).…”

“…But this concept is not new in the literature, and, in fact, has been identified by several authors over the years using slightly different terminology. Bucaro et al (2005) wrote a description of a hospital-wide bereavement program implemented in a children's hospital in the United States. One of the central concepts used to describe parental bereavement was isolation, and it was described as being two-fold.…”

“…Parents in this study, as in that of Thompson et al (2011), also reported that they wanted to share their grief with others, but few people asked them about their grief and few were willing to listen when they did speak up. And, as identified by Bucaro et al (2005), almost half of parents reported relationship changes like strained marital relations, decreased communication with spouses, and distancing that resulted in divorce. These relationship changes take away one of parent's most central supports, their spouse, leaving them even more isolated and struggling to cope with yet another loss.…”

“…Even when compared to other types of loss, parental loss of a child is more difficult and carries with it an increased risk of complicated bereavement (D'Agostino, Berlin-Romalis, Jovcevska, & Barrera, 2008;Rini & Loriz, 2007). It challenges a parent's identity, relationships, worldview, and fundamental beliefs in the natural order of life (Bucaro, Asher, & Curry, 2005;Garstang, Griffiths, & Sidebotham, 2014;Meert, Thurston, & Briller, 2005). When death is sudden and unexpected, these challenges can be complicated by feelings of guilt over not fulfilling their role as protector of their child.…”

“…Even the parent's time with the patient after death can be compromised, as most cases of unexpected death within 24 hours of entrance to the hospital are considered coroner's cases (Bucaro, Asher, & Curry, 2005). This means that medical equipment cannot be removed and family is allowed very limited physical contact with the body as their actions could potentially destroy evidence regarding cause of death.…”