Becoming a Father to a Stillborn Child

Abstract

The purpose of this study was to identify and describe the reaction of fathers to a stillborn child. Because little research has been done on this topic, an exploratory descriptive study was conducted. Eight fathers who had experienced a stillborn child were interviewed in-depth within the first 5 years following the death. Although the fathers exhibited grief reactions and behaviors such as shock, denial, anger, and acceptance, it was evident that taking on a fathering role was of central importance. The basic social process that the fathers in this study experienced was becoming a father to the stillborn child. The fathers were trying to assume a fathering role while they were grieving the death of their child. Understanding the process of becoming a father to a stillborn child is of value to health care professionals when considering ways to help fathers who have experienced such a loss.

Stillbirth: The Mother's Experience and Implications for Improving Care

“…In some cultures, the pregnant woman is revered. Most often, childbirth is celebrated with joy, anticipation, and high expectations (Worth, 1997). Instead, when the baby is stillborn, mothers experience death, departure, and grief (Cacciatore, 2007).…”

Fathers' Experience of Social Support After the Death of a Child

“…It is typical that mothers rely on more intimate social relationships than fathers, and that the social network supports mothers more (Dyregrov & Matthiesen, 1991;McCreight, 2004;Wagner, Higgins, & Wallerstedt, 1997). Men's feelings were often disregarded, and close relatives and friends expected them to be strong and finish their grieving process quickly (Worth, 1997).…”

Waltzing Matilda

“…The men felt timid about saying the wrong thing to their partner, and they believed that they themselves had received little emotional support from others. Indeed, a prevalent complaint by men is that others ask about how their partners are doing but not how they themselves are coping (de Montigny, Beaudet, and Dumas 1999;Dilts 2001;Nelson 2004;O'Neill 1998;Puddifoot and Johnson 1997;Stinson et al 1992;Worth 1997). Samuelsson, Rådestad, and Segesten's (2001) father interviewees, though, found meaning and relief in supporting their partners, felt that tokens of remembrance were invaluable, and their relationships with other men-whether absent or present-had significant impact.…”

“…Rather, as Worth (1997) points out, one "becomes" a father to a stillborn baby through a series of roughly chronological but always "interactive" events, such as anticipating the baby, learning of its death, dealing with practicalities, struggling for recognition, and maintaining memories. This interactive process was certainly true in my becoming a father to Matilda, a process that has still not ended.…”