"Because Dads Change Diapers Too": Negotiating Gendered Parenting Discourses on Reddit Parenting Forums

Abstract

Digital media can reflect and reify normative expectations in the non-digital world. Parents are increasingly engaging with online media to seek information and support. Online parenting forums therefore act as key windows into current perceptions surrounding parenthood and child rearing. My study aims to investigate differences in parenting expectations between mothers and fathers on online parenting forums. I conducted a cyber ethnography of two Reddit subforums, Mommit and Daddit, to investigate how parents negotiate gendered parenting discourses on these two parenting subforums. Using a grounded theory approach, I extract key themes surrounding mothering and fathering expectations relating to (1) parental responsibilities, (2) women and men’s self-identity as parents, and (3) mothers’ and fathers’ relationships with their partners. My discourse analysis reveals that both Mommit and Daddit work to deconstruct certain normative pressures surrounding motherhood and fatherhood, but simultaneously reaffirm traditional gendered parenting expectations. These forums act as an avenue for users to deconstruct expectations that frustrate users: Daddit users contest the expectation that fathers are not apt child carers, and Mommit users contest the expectation that women are exclusively, and naturally skilled, child carers. However, at the same time, users cannot fully escape normative pressures, and indeed these forums reinforce a gendered primary-secondary divide between mothers and fathers in caretaking responsibilities and practices.

How Do Mothers and Fathers Talk About Parenting to Different Audiences?: Stereotypes and Audience Effects: An Analysis of r/Daddit, r/Mommit, and r/Parenting Using Topic Modelling

“…By being the users who discuss the most these topics, mothers position themselves (and are positioned) as the primary caregiver with communal characteristics [11,12]. These findings are coherent with the previous studies of Ammari et al [1] and Feldman [14], conducted in the same context. Ammari et al 's [1] found that r/Mommit users are the ones discussing the most topics related to sleep training, breastfeeding, milestones, child weight gain, and pregnancy recovery.…”

“…Studies on Parenting Subreddits. At least two published studies have explored the expression of parenthood on Reddit, one using an ethnographic approach [14] and the other using a computational approach [1].…”

“…Feldman's study [14] applied qualitative grounded theory to posts on r/Mommit and r/Daddit to explore how Reddit users negotiate gendered parenting ideologies. They found that Reddit users reproduce the stereotypical gender roles painting the mother as the primary caregiver and the father as the secondary caregiver on r/Daddit and r/Mommit.…”

“…Furthermore, whereas good fathering is defined as being present and spending time with their child (shown through pictures of their child), good mothering is defined as positively shaping and impacting their child. Feldman [14] describes fathers' concerns to be centred around whether they care for their child and mothers' to be about how to care for their child. While Feldman's research [14] provides essential insight, the method is intensive and only allowed the analysis of one month of data.…”

“…Feldman [14] describes fathers' concerns to be centred around whether they care for their child and mothers' to be about how to care for their child. While Feldman's research [14] provides essential insight, the method is intensive and only allowed the analysis of one month of data. With the number of published posts on Reddit being substantial, quantitative text analysis methods such as topic modelling may allow more comprehensive analysis.…”