Autonomy and Connectedness as Dimensions of Relationship Styles in Men and Women

Abstract

This study identified a trichotomy of styles that characterize adults' relationships with partners: self-focused autonomy, other-focused connection, and mutuality. Each style was defined by several dimensions; dominance-submission, whose needs are met, sensitivity to the partner's feelings, clarity of feelings, separateness vs intimacy, and concern with the relationship. Participants were adults, aged 18-70 years, who responded to a newspaper survey in which they identified their own style of relationship and that of their partner. Mutual individuals most often reported that their partners shared the same style. Other-focused women most often reported self-focused male partners, and self-focused men most often identified their female partners as other-focused. Correlates of these partner combinations included perceived validation by one's partner and the ability to be one's authentic self within the relationship. Findings revealed that mutual individuals with mutual partners reported the highest levels of perceived validation and authentic-self behavior. Other-focused women paired with self-focused men reported the lowest levels of validation and authentic-self behavior, with self-focused men paired with other-focused women falling in between. Discussion emphasized the liabilities of the two more extreme styles, self-focused autonomy and other focused connection, as well as the dynamics of the different partner combinations.

Relationship Styles of Self-Focused Autonomy, Other-Focused Connectedness, and Mutuality across Multiple Relationship Contexts

“…Adopting the perspective that orientations towards autonomy and connectedness are too sharply dichotomized, Harter et al (1997) conducted a study that examined three distinct relationship styles within spousal or partner relationships: self-focused autonomy (an overemphasis on autonomy at the expense of connection), other-focused connection (an overemphasis on connection at the expense of autonomy), and mutuality (a balanced integration of concerns with autonomy and connection). Individuals with a self-focused autonomous style in relationships tend to emphasize the self's needs and feelings and have a strong sense of separateness from their partner.…”

Relationship Styles of Self-Focused Autonomy, Other-Focused Connection, and Mutuality Among Mexican American and European American College Students

“…NOTE 1. Although the three relationship styles may seem similar to Hazan and Shaver's (1987) adult attachment styles, Harter et al (1997) found that the two measures were not significantly associated, demonstrating that the two typologies concern different relational constructs.…”

“…Although the exact cause for these cultural differences is unclear, they certainly highlight the circumstance that the internal feelings of individuals often oppose prevailing cultural norms (Turiel, 2002). Finally in the present study, we examined the link between the three relationship styles and psychological well-being to determine whether mutuality would be associated with the best outcomes for Mexican Americans as previous researchers have found with European Americans (Harter et al, 1997;Neff & Harter, 2002. The present results indicated that the mutuality style led to significantly better outcomes for both ethnic groups in relationship satisfaction, perceived validation, voice, self-worth, and depressed affect than did the SFA and OFC styles (which did not differ significantly from each other).…”

“…The Appendix shows the three cameos. We adapted the relationship style cameos from those used in previous research (Harter et al, 1997;Neff & Harter, 2002. We defined styles along six theoretically derived dimensions (Jordan, 1991;Miller, 1986) and embedded them within the cameos.…”

“…In a series of studies, Neff and Harter (Harter et al, 1997;Neff & Harter, 2002 supported this point of view by examining three distinct ways in which an individual interacts with a partner in romantic relationships: self-focused autonomy (SFA), an overemphasis on autonomy at the expense of connection; other-focused connection (OFC), an overemphasis on connection at the expense of autonomy; and mutuality, a balanced integration of the concerns with autonomy and connection. Individuals with an SFA relationship style tend to emphasize the self's needs and feelings and have a strong sense of separateness from the partner.…”