Relationship Styles of Self-Focused Autonomy, Other-Focused Connectedness, and Mutuality across Multiple Relationship Contexts

Abstract

This study examined relationship styles of self-focused autonomy, other-focused connectedness, or mutuality with mothers, fathers, best friends, and romantic partners to determine if styles would be used consistently or would vary across relationships. Participants included 257 college students (M = 21.6 years). Mutuality was the most commonly reported relationship style in all relationship contexts, and no sex differences in style were found. Most participants reported using more than one relationship style across contexts, however, and styles were linked to perceptions of power within relationships: autonomy was associated with dominance, connectedness to subordinance, and mutuality to equality. Autonomy was linked to the worst psychological outcomes with parents (in terms of relationship satisfaction, self-worth, and depression), and mutuality was linked to the best outcomes with romantic partners and best friends. Findings caution against the dichotomization of autonomy and connectedness into bipolar opposites, because the integration of these two concerns is more typical in relationships. They also support the contention that orientations towards autonomy and connectedness are best conceptualized as responses to contextual features of relationships -including circumstances of power -rather than stable, fundamental aspects of self.KEY WORDS: autonomy • connectedness • power • relationships Journal of Social and Personal Relationships

Emotional autonomy and adjustment among emerging adults: The moderating role of family relationships

“…Our results also indicated that the emotional autonomy of young college students correlates negatively with perceived family social support, with those with greater emotional autonomy having less confidence in the support they feel they receive from their parents. These results are consistent with the findings of previous studies by Neff and Harter () and Yu (), who found an association between high levels of emotional autonomy and weaker, less cohesive family structures.…”

“…However, other authors dispute the argument that achieving emotional autonomy is a developmental task, supporting instead the theory that adolescents who feel more emotionally autonomous from their parents perceive lower quality, less affection and less love in their relationships with them (Ryan & Lynch, ; Zimmer‐Gembeck, Madsen & Hanisch, ). These studies have also shown that high levels of emotional autonomy are associated with challenges in family relationships during adolescence and emerging adulthood, less cohesive family structures marked by a lack of emotional intimacy and communication, and more difficult parent‐child relationships (Neff & Harter, ; Yu, ). Thus, according to this latter perspective, high emotional autonomy is associated, at least during these years, with feelings of insecurity, negative self‐concept, depression and other behaviors linked to internalizing problems (Delhaye, Kempenaers, Linkowski, Stroobants & Goossens, ; Ryan & Lynch, ).…”

Reciprocal Associations Between Connectedness and Autonomy Among Korean Adolescents: Compatible or Antithetical?

“…By contrast, those with a high level of parental bonding may tend to attune themselves to parental needs, feelings, and opinions, maintaining emotional closeness with their parents. Unlike the majority of previous studies on Western youth, Neff and Harter (2003) showed that college students in the United States who endorsed autonomous behavior reported poorer relationships with their parents than their counterparts; they further suggested that these students may suffer from a lack of emotional closeness to their parents.…”

Introduction: For Better or Worse: Intimate Relationships as Sources of Risk or Resilience for Girls' Delinquency

“…Interestingly, in this normative sample, girls whose rejection sensitivity increased over the adolescent transition were those most likely to adapt a submissive stance toward their partners. Overaccommodation and the tendency focus on others' needs at one's own expense is an indicator of a failure to establish mutuality of autonomy, the capacity to “balance concerns with the self's and other's needs and feelings and to maintain both separate space and closeness in the relationship” (Neff & Harter, , p. 83). Research evidences that young adults who fail to achieve this kind of balance between focusing on the needs of self or other are less psychologically well‐adapted and less satisfied in their intimate relationships than their peers (Neff & Harter, ), and their relationships are more likely to involve the use of abusive strategies for conflict resolution, such as relational aggression (Kerig & Swanson, ; Kerig, Swanson, et al., ).…”