A Research Note on Post-Dating Relationships: The Social Embeddedness of Redefining Romantic Couplings

Abstract

This is an exploratory, descriptive study of relationship redefinition. Using symbolic interaction theory, this paper examines the contours of post-dating relationships, asking the following questions: 1) how do people orient themselves to one another after a dating reltaionship ends?; and, 2) what is the power dynamic between one's social network and his or her post-dating relationship? Using a snowball sample (N = 30), interview data are analyzed as narratives about the respondents' construction of post-dating relationships. Until recently, research has focused on postdivorce relationships and has characterized these as maladaptive (Weiss 1975; Spanier and Casto 1979; Berman 1985). This study joins recent research which suggests that relationships between former spouses or lovers may satisfy legitimate needs such as friendship, shared history, and extended social networks (Metts, Cupach and Bejlovec 1989; Aydintug 1995).

Can we still be friends? Resources and barriers to friendship quality after romantic relationship dissolution

“…Specifically, lack of support from family and friends for a post-dating friendship, the participant's involvement in a new romantic relationship, and the use of neglect as a strategy to end the relationship were all significant predictors of lower friendship quality. Our findings are consistent with research that has shown the considerable influence social networks can exert on both dating and post-dating relationships (Foley & Fraser, 1998;Sprecher & Felmlee, 1992). The findings for neglect are comparable to previous studies that have found negative disengagement strategies to inhibit post-dating relationships (Banks et al, 1987; Metts et al, 1989).…”

On-Again/Off-Again Dating Relationships: What Keeps Partners Coming Back?

“…Yet, these latter partners may later break off the relationship, perhaps repeatedly, because they have less interest in the relationship. Because partners with the least interest likely have more power in their post-dissolution relationships (Foley & Fraser, 1998), individuals who yield to their partner's renewal attempt may have more power in the progression of onoff relationships. As such, the roles partners assume may be driving the cyclical process for some couples.…”

Flexibility, friendship, and family

“…More importantly perhaps, there appears to be greater acceptance now that former lovers or partners may sustain a friendship after their sexual involvement ends. Again, this is by no means a dominant pattern, but in some cases, people are able to modify the basis of a once romantic or sexual relationship, in some cases including their marriage, so that positive emotional and social involvement continues to characterize the tie (Budgeon, 2006; Fischer, De Graaf, & Kalmijn, 2005; Foley & Fraser, 1998; Schneider & Kenny, 2000). In this, heterosexual relationships are beginning to mirror gay male and lesbian partnerships in their postpartnership sustainability.…”