This article explores the importance of the relationship between a teacher of meditation and his or her student. Mindfulness meditation is receiving a lot of attention in the psychotherapy literature currently. It is generally viewed as a technique that is taught in groups and then practiced individually by clients or participants. What does not appear to be generally understood is that the teaching and learning of meditation is understood in Eastern traditions as intimately related to the relationship that develops between the teacher and student. This, in fact, is very similar to what we are coming to understand about the importance of the therapeutic relationship to the outcome of therapy, regardless of technique or orientation of the therapist. Personal experiences of the author in a relationship with a meditation teacher are compared with those from a psychoanalytic therapy experience. Meditation is construed from this perspective not only as a technique that is learned and practiced but also as an innate human capability that is activated in the context of a very special kind of relationship with a person who has fully unfolded this capacity in his or her own experience.
This article presents the viewpoint that spirituality, as reflected in various traditions from around the world, suggests an alternative perspective on how one overcomes suffering and moves toward having a happy life. This viewpoint is drawn from lived experiences of the author, a clinical psychologist steeped in Eastern spiritual traditions who integrates his meditation practice and spiritual perspective with his practice of psychodynamic, object relations, existential, humanistic, and cognitive-behavioral approaches to working with clients. Many current therapeutic methods are utilizing and incorporating mindfulness (
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